Abbie's Arrival: A Home Birth Story

By the time Jake got home, the contractions were making me so restless I couldn't sit still. I was pestering Jake, following him from room to room and wandering around. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me and Jake eventually called the midwife back and told her he thought it was time for her to come over.

She got here at about 5:15 and checked me, and I was dilated to 6cm. She thought she had time, so she went out to grab dinner, and came back in 2 hours. At 8:15 I was still dilated to 6cm, but Abbie had moved down to a -1 station so the midwife decided it was time to stay and called her assistants to come.

I told her I wasn't sure if Abbie was still breech or not. She felt for her but couldn't decide if she'd flipped head down or not, so my midwife decided to just assume she was still breech at this point. And that's how she treated the situation.

Her head and her butt were the exact same size when she came out so that's why it was very confusing for people who would "feel" to see where she was positioned without an ultra sound.

At 9:25 p.m. I was leaning on the yoga ball in the living room. I was having the urge to push and I asked my midwife if it was okay to bear down a little with the contractions because it made it hurt less.

She told me I absolutely could NOT push under any circumstances yet and I told her I hated her. So I stopped following my body's natural direction because I assumed she was still breech.

The next contraction after telling my midwife I was entitled to hate her for telling me I couldn't do something that made it hurt less, my water broke during a really, really intense contraction and the first words out of my mouth were, "Holy shit! Either my water broke or I just peed myself."

For some reason, everyone thought that was funny. After that, my contractions got a hell of a lot worse and I lost track of time. I remember her putting the antibiotics into me between contractions due to the GBS factor.

I kept reminding myself to get through each contractions, this is going to hurt less then a c-section, suck it up bitch. That was my mantra at this point.

Labor Gets Intense

Then, things got a lot worse, and fast. After that, things got hazy. People kept touching my belly and doing blood pressures and I actually at one point remember pushing someone away and going, "Stop touching me already."

I kept telling my midwife that my body was pushing on its own and I couldn't help it anymore. She made me get up and go to our bedroom around 9:45. It was a lot of work to get me on the bed to check me. I was about 8-9cm and she told me I absolutely could not push yet. I was fighting my body not to push and it hurt so bad not to let my body do what it needed and wanted to do.

I was on my hands and knees and begged her to let me go in the tub to help, because my body was pushing on its own and I was fighting myself trying not to bear down at this point and it made everything so much worse.

Jake filled the tub and I got up and it was too hot to get in it and I almost started to cry, I asked him if he was trying to kill me, and then collapsed on the floor with the next contraction. The midwife was on the floor with me helping me through the contractions, telling me not to push yet and just work through it.

By this point, my body was pushing on its own and I couldn't stop it. I finally asked her, "I don't think I can wait another hour to push do I really have to wait that long?"

She told me it depended on the situation and she'd check me again. She never got the chance. While they were trying to get me up I felt stuff slide down in my vagina and feel like it was splitting me apart.

Another couple of contractions like that and I went, "Oh shit! This baby is coming and I can't stop it." The contractions were right on top of each other at this point.

They helped me up to the bed and made Jake sit behind me while he held me in a semi-reclining position. For some reason they wanted me to scoot forward a few inches and by this time I was shaking so bad I couldn't move or do anything. They had to pick me up and move me a few inches because I just plain couldn't do it.