Alex's Birth Story

by Shiona

My pregnancy with my first child was one that was filled with joy, apprehension, surprise, and hard luck. I was 23-years-old when I got pregnant with my son.

Six years before I had been told that I would have a hard time conceiving due to ovarian cysts and a severe case of endometriosis. My doctor told me that he would like to see me pregnant by the time I was 21. I found this hard to take because I was 17, just out of high school and getting ready to start college. Heck I didn't even have a steady boyfriend, or at least one that I wanted to have a family with. One year later I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, yet another hurdle for me to jump if I ever wanted a baby.

Fast-forward six years. My husband and I were just dating still when we decided that we would start to try for a baby. Considering my past history we figured it would probably take a few months. We had a wedding date planned for October and figured that if we hadn't conceived by December that we would hold off until after we where married. I stopped taking birth control in August and had two normal periods. My last would be October 13 (how I remember it like it was yesterday).

Early in November I started feeling very odd, I didn't feel like myself. The night that I found out I was pregnant I had been out of sorts all day at work. I wanted to cry, punch someone, and laugh all at the same time. It wasn't until someone suggested that I may be pregnant did it even cross my mind.

Sure enough, three hours later, I found out for sure. I had taken a few tests in the previous weeks because I thought something was up, but they were all negative. This one turned up very positive; I had to read the directions twice to make sure that what I was seeing was in fact a positive pregnancy test. I ended up keeping that stick until I started showing to convince myself that I was actually pregnant.

Six weeks into my pregnancy, about 14 days after my pregnancy was confirmed by my OB/GYN, my husband and I were married. We will be celebrating our first anniversary on December 14. Seven days later I was pulled out of work until after Christmas. My OB said that my job was too high stress (I am a front-end manager for Wal-Mart) to stay. I could come back after Christmas.

I went back to work on January 2, and didn't finish the day out. I had called my husband saying that I felt weird and gave him a bunch of symptoms and asked him to call the OB and ask him what to do. Twenty minutes later he called back and the OB said to get there right away. This completely freaked me out and I drove home all nervous.

We went to the OB and I found out that I had a bad urinary tract infection. The OB said that this strain could cause premature labor so he would be pulling me out of work until I began my second trimester. Four days later hubby hurt his back at work and our world turned upside down.

We were doing so well in our lives, and now all of a sudden, we are both out of work. I had a lot of sick, vacation, and personal time saved up, but we couldn't live on that alone. We decided that the best thing for us to do would be to move in with his parents. The kicker is that they lived four hours away. This meant a possible switch in doctors for me. We didn't know how long we would be there so I waited until my visits were every other week before I switched. During this time we had lost our medical insurance, and I was put on Medicaid.

At first I was excited to be having a midwife deliver me. After all I had seen one deliver before and she was quite excellent. This being said not all midwives are the same. I had to go to a clinic where I saw a different midwife every time I went and I was never sure who would deliver me when the time came. I had, thank heavens, had all the tests done before I went to them. This switch was really hard on me because my OB had been my doctor for so long, and now here I was having someone that I hardly knew being there on one of the most important days of my life.

One week before my due date I saw my favorite midwife. She said that the baby was doing fine and was going to be a big baby. I had asked her about evening primrose oil, as I had heard some good things about it. She advised us on it and told us what we were to do with it. She told us about a woman, who a couple of weeks earlier, had done the same thing and had her baby three days later.

This excited me because I was ready to have him out! We did the EPO Friday and Saturday, and skipped Sunday. My mom, who lives four hours away, surprised us Sunday morning. She had been having feelings all week that I would go soon.

Later that night I noticed a pickup in the baby's activity and I lost my appetite eating dinner. As my husband and I where getting ready for bed that night I told him that the baby would be here soon.

Around 3 am I started feeling these weird pains and couldn't get comfortable in bed, but rested anyways because I some how "knew" I was going to need it. I got up that morning and found that I had some "show." I was still feeling the pains but they where nothing special. My mom and I headed out to the mall and walked around for a few hours. I joked with her that when I got to the hospital I would be 6 cm.

We got home around 3 pm and I called the midwife. I had been having contractions every 5 minutes for about an hour. She was busy doing a delivery and didn't call me back until 4. When we talked on the phone she told me that I probably wasn't that far along, but to come in anyway to be checked.

In the meantime before she called we had a car wreck outside our house, and I had ran down the hill to see what the commotion was all about. Then as I was picking up the call from my midwife I almost stepped on a mousetrap, so of course I don't sound like I am in labor.

Well, we finally get to the hospital around 5:30 pm and the midwife was doing another delivery. It ended up being more like a few more deliveries before she got to me. At 7 pm she checked me with the intentions of sending me home.

Well I was at 7 cm! Apparently, I had ruined her night. She wanted to go home, but now she couldn't because I was going to deliver soon. They got me into my room and within two hours I was fully dilated and pushing. Of course I wasn't pushing right so that made things harder.

I had screamed a few times and she yelled at me to stop screaming, that just made me scream louder. I must say that I never had any painkillers at all the whole time I was in labor, nor did I ask for any. This midwife expected me to be silent while I gave birth. If I grunted she said, "don't do that." If I panted, again, "don't do that." No matter what I did she didn't want me to make any noise.

On top of all of this I wasn't too impressed with the fact that every time I had a contraction the nurse crammed her fist in me. I was getting quite frustrated with the midwife and the nurses. Then they kept telling me to have a bowel movement, but I kept telling them that I couldn't. I had not eaten since Sunday and now its Monday night, what did they expect?

I started feeling my baby moving down and could feel myself tearing. I asked for them to cut me and they must of thought that I wanted a c-section and told me NO! The midwife then decided that my contractions were not strong enough and gave me pitocin and didn't wait for the doctor's order.

Well, that sped the contractions right up. One good push and my son's head was almost out. She told me to quit pushing and I did. He shot right out and landed on the bed. The midwife glared at me like I had pushed. My son was born at 12:30 am, July 17th, weighing 8 pound 3 ounces and was 21.5 inches long.

I ended up with a second-degree tear, but I had a beautiful baby. As I put my birth into perspective, it didn't feel like I was in control at all. I did the things the way they wanted and I was pushed into delivering way before I should have. I never had that urge to push. They had me pushing while my contractions where still so far apart. Now I know why I had broken blood vessels in my face and eyes. My son wasn't even in the birth canal long enough to have any molding on his head. I was very upset by my birth. My labor was wonderful and I hope it is like that for future pregnancies. But no matter what, I will not be delivering in that hospital again. I will have my OB/GYN do it this time.

Thank you for listening to my story.

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It would be nice to know what hospital this was so people can avoid it. It seems that medical people who are negligent in their duties should have some accountability.

goofeymartian's picture

My mom had a very similar experience when my two younger brothers were born. I also am dealing with Ovarian Cysts and ttc. I hope the hospital I choose will respect my birth plan.

Make sure that you research the hospital you go to. I thought the one I wanted to go to was the best until I read about other mothers in the area who wanted to use the birthing methods I want to use and found that that hospital does not favor natural childbirth. They spoke of their experiences at another hospital that turned out much better. That changed my mind about which hospital to choose.