Look over the following questions. Think about how you are being treated and how you treat your partner. Remember, when one person scares, hurts or continually puts down the other person, it's abuse.
____Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
____Put down your accomplishments or goals?
____Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
____Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
____Tell you that you are nothing without them?
____Treat you roughly - grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
____Call you several times several times during the day and/or night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
____Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
____Blame you for how they feel or act?
____Pressure you sexually for things you aren't ready for?
____Make you feel like there "is no way out" of the relationship?
____Prevent you from doing things you want -- such as pursuing your own individual interests?
____Isolate you from others; including from family and friends?
____Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to "teach you a lesson"?
____Threaten you that if you leave or even discuss the abuse happening that you will lose your children?
____Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
____Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
____Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
____Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
____Feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you?
____Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
____Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?
If you have checked several you could be in an abusive relationship, but the more of these you are able to check off, the more likely you yourself are a possible victim. Know that help is available. Talk to someone. Without some help, the abuse will continue.
Find help at the National Domestic Violence Hotine Website.