by Dana B. Bryant
Getting pregnant might make you feel topsy-turvy like Alice did as she went tumbling into the rabbit hole. As you embark on your journey to parenthood, you'll come across islands of unknown events, countries of unpredictable affects, and set anchor on a new land of "reality." Where did the map go?
Celebrating Mad Hatter Day, is a wonderful opportunity to laugh at the silly, crazy, and sometimes "mad" things we do during the course of our pregnancies. Feel free to add your own "Silliness is..." idea in our comments section!
Silliness is. . .
• Peeing on 3,589 sticks over a course of three days
• Staring at a pee stick posted online that has been inverted twice until you go cross-eyed trying to see a line that may or may not exist
• Trying to lie to your mom when she calls you out of the blue and asks if you're pregnant
• Swearing that you see a belly bump -- at four weeks!
• Craving the foods that make you throw up (big bummer!)
• Purchasing an entire wardrobe of empire waist dresses just to hide the truth from your boss "for two more weeks."
• Asking your co-worker not to wear that perfume because of a sudden and severe allergy
• Your other children asking if they're getting more than one sibling
• Trying to find a "comfortable" position to "do the deed"
• Determining water breakage from everything else that's leaking
• Tying your shoes - well trying to without tipping over...
• Slipping sideways through the doorway -- and expecting to fit better
• Stuffing your swollen foot into a high heel three days before your due date
• Trying to avoid the scales at the doctor's office
• Becoming emotional over a new car commercial, card commercial, phone commercial...any commercial...
• Asking your partner at eight months pregnant if an outfit makes you look fat (seriously, how can he ever win on that one?)
• Volunteering to host this year's holiday feast at your house because it would be "easier" on you
• Stopping on the way to Labor & Delivery to get lip gloss (true story!)
• Not sleeping due to being so uncomfortably pregnant and thinking "I'll get so much more rest after the baby is here..."
• Buying everything in NEWBORN size -- because it's cuter!
• Craving a little frosting...and then eating the entire container!
• Assuming your partner understands what you are going through
• Answering "fine" whenever someone asks how you're doing
• Panting in front of 10 to 20 strangers in your birthing class
• Trying to guess your nursing bra size
• Explaining to your two-year-old or your preschooler's class how babies come out
• Just how many pillows you need to try to prop different body parts up to get some amount of sleep
• Maternity underwear...really? Who thinks this stuff up?
• The celebrity mom that loses her baby weight in less time than it takes to announce the birth
• EVERYONE calling near your due date wanting to know if the baby's here yet -- as IF they wouldn't know!
• How many trips to the bathroom you have to take in any given hour
• Telling everyone that you are having a girl...and then it is a boy!
• Balancing your dinner plate on your belly (glasses of water are an extra challenge!)
• Baking your favorite cookie, eating them all, and hiding the evidence
• Passing gas and trying to play it off as not you! The dog works well as a scapegoat...
• Signing up for a prenatal yoga class -- in the third trimester
• Buying every parenting book on the market and then trying to discern which "expert" is right
• Telling the ultrasound tech you don't want to know the gender, then spending the rest of the pregnancy trying guess "boy or girl" from the grainy black and white printouts
• Trying to shave...anything
• During those (extremely) rare, blissful pregnant moments thinking that you wish you could be pregnant "forever"
With so much of pregnancy focused on the "do's and don'ts," it's easy to get caught up in the serious business of having a baby. Remember to take time out to point out the lighter side of sporting that babe in-the-womb and enjoy a smile and a giggle along the way.
"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? ~The Mad Hatter”
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