by Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman
The month of June ushers in a time of recognition where many families around the world honor fathers for the active role they play in their children's lives. This month families from the United States, Canada and most of Europe celebrate Father’s Day. In Australia and New Zealand this special day of recognition takes place in September, but is celebrated in much the same way as in the United States. No matter where or when it is celebrated, Father's Day is an opportunity to thank dads and pay tribute to them.
Many fathers around the world are experiencing the joy and excitement of playing an integral part in child rearing. As these fathers increase their involvement with parenting, a dramatic effect in the parent-child relationship takes place. The invaluable role played by fathers helps to build character, model respect and demonstrate integrity for the children they touch. Fathers indeed change the world one child at a time.
When fathers embrace their role and make a commitment to parent like no one else their children grow up to be like no one else. These fathers are affectionately referred to as fantastic fathers. Fantastic fathers leave clues to their success. They demonstrate a series of traits that can be found in fathers world-wide.
Listed below are seven common traits found in fathers committed to raising responsible children with grace, dignity and love. Use the list as encouragement and direction in your sacred role of fatherhood.
Fantastic fathers are effective role models. Fathers, what if your life IS the message? What if how you choose to live your life is the central learning that your children have come to earth to discover? What if the lessons you design, the tips you impart, the learning experiences you arrange, the lectures you deliver, the advice you share, the words of wisdom you speak to your children do not have as much impact on them as the way you live? Fantastic fathers know that they are the message and live that way.
Fantastic fathers use self responsible language. Self-responsible language consists of words and phrases that reveal an acceptance of responsibility for one's actions and feelings, show ownership for results, or make choices conscious. Fathers who use self-responsible language remove from their vocabulary words and phrases that point to others as the cause of their choices and behavior. They take responsibility for what shows up in their lives and use language that reflects an acceptance of that responsibility.
Fantastic fathers teach solution seeking. Do you help your children learn and use a problem solving process? Do you take the time to help your children come to their own conclusion, or are you more likely to provide one for them? Will you let them struggle with an issue and encourage them to stay focused on the process of discovering answers? Fantastic fathers regularly search for solutions and teach their children how to do the same.
Fantastic fathers help children develop an inner authority. Do you provide the support necessary for your children to test their wings? Are you helping them feel secure while they test the waters of real life without you? Fathers who parent like no other encourage their children to trust their intuition and to listen to the voice within?
Fantastic fathers enable children to have a voice. Discovering and learning how to speak up and use their own voice is a lifelong process for children. Fantastic fathers help their children gain skills and confidence when speaking up for themselves. They encourage their children to question unclear answers, challenge false statements and speak out in the face of injustice. They teach their children how to use words to become an empowered, confident, self-responsible youngster.