Fears of a Clown

We could only hope that the familiar rhythmic breathing of his sleeping owner in the footed pajamas would soon erase the memories of his emotionally charged excursion into the outside world. We did learn to avoid any unchaperoned Gymbo excursions in the future by tying one end of a shoelace around his waist and the other end around the bedpost each morning. I know that doesn't necessarily look all that loving, but hey, he never stops smiling. And it does eliminate one potential for bedtime parental panic.

Once was enough -- for all of us.

Bob Schwartz is a syndicated humor writer whose essays have appeared in over 150 magazines and newspapers. His latest book is a hysterical look at parenting, Would Somebody Please Send Me to My Room! Bob authored the popular humorous book on running, I Run, Therefore I Am - Nuts!. Read more at Schwartzhumor.com.

Copyright © Bob Schwartz. Permission to republish granted to Pregnancy.org, LLC.