The First Time My Wife and I Were Pregnant

Here are some tips for the baby shower:

-  Make it a boy/girl shower. That way there will have to be beer, and you and the other guys can keep each other company. Also, it is customary for guys to bring diapers and trust me; you’ll want a bunch of those.
-  Invite everyone you’ve ever met. The more the merrier.
-  Don't have it in your home. You have enough stress in your life don't make it worse.
-  If you are going to a shower, buy something awesome and useful; cute decorations won't keep a baby warm or entertained.
-  If you are having a shower and receive something useful but not fun, be gracious and say thank you, you'll regret not having been more excited about it later on when you use that thing all the time.

The baby shower is where you get all the stuff you will need for the first year of being a dad. It also greatly cuts down on the amount of things you'll need to buy.

Another reason babies are not expensive is because you will stop doing many things you used to do. That balances the cost very well. You may need to spend a hundred dollars on formula, a hundred dollars on diapers and a hundred dollars on clothes in a month. That’s a lot of money that you’ll need to add to the budget… or will you. Don't forget, there will be less going to the movies, less going to the restaurant, less driving around, more meals at parent's places and much, much less partying. Well, at least for the first year. So, do you think you can find three hundred dollars in your budget now? Exactly. This is how I spent my free time. Didn't cost a thing.

Who Should Be in the Room and Should I Videotape It?

My wife and I went through the birthing classes given by the hospital, which by the way I totally suggest you also do. At one of the classes we were all given a small booklet called a "Birthing Plan." In it was a list of things you could request from the hospital and all the special things you would like during your birthing experience because you certainly won't be in the right frame of mind to ask for these things when it happens. The plan had things like who would cut the cord, who would hold the baby first and who would be in the room. My wife and I discussed this last one for pretty much the last four months of the pregnancy. My wife wanted her mother to be there at the birth along with myself. I wanted to be the only one there with her. The arguments were plentiful for both of us but they both boiled down to two things, feeling safe and sharing a moment.

My wife had initially argued that she wanted her mother in the room because she needed someone to help her through it. My counter-argument was that I would be there to help her through it. My main argument was that this was the most important event in our life and I didn't want to share it with anyone other than my wife. If her mother wasn't there when we made the darned thing, I didn't want her there when it came out.

It must be said that I adore my mother-in-law and that in all other things I welcome her graciously with open arms, but in this I was adamant. This was a moment for me and my wife and no one else.

After discussing it for four months we came to a compromise; during labor my mother-in-law and I would both be there to help out my wife, but when it came time to push, my mother-in-law would step outside and my wife and I would go the rest of the way together.

You and your wife may decide differently but for me, it is the best decision I have ever made in my life. The ten minutes I spent holding my wife's hand and helping her keep the rhythm of her breathing to the moment that my daughter was born is the most amazing, intense experience I have ever had.

Comments

Thank you so much for the extremely kind response! And congratulations on your upcoming daughter! I hope your Daughters Father has as amazing an experience as I had! Good luck and have fun!

Tim

We are also pregnant for the first time. it's funny and interesting how you were able to put into words to describe what my husband is feeling now. :)

Oh, this brought me to tears (the good kind). My husband and I are expecting #4, and he still went through the same thing. Good article, made me laugh, too.

I loved this article! This is my first pregnancy and I feel like this article really put things into perspective. I especially loved how you touched on the fact that we as women are not the only one's going through changes. I am guilty of accusing my husband of carring on with "business as usual," and though I know thats not true, there are moments when that is how it feels. So thank you for a giving some male insight. My husband has been very loving and supportive and I want to be the same for him.

Thank You!

I thought this was very insighful and useful! I printed it out and and gave it to my future daughters father. He loved it! He sends his thanks!
Congrats on your beautiful daughter! Glad you had such an awesome experience!