by Joanie Overbeck
Contrary to popular belief and advertisers, the holidays are not a time everyone looks forward to. If you have lost someone through death or divorce or lost your home, your job or your dreams or relocated or..., this holiday season may be dreaded. You may wish you could just snap your fingers and it would be January.
Even though no one can take away your pain or struggle, there are things to do that will make the holidays less stressful and more enjoyable. One of the most difficult aspects of traumatic change is loss of control which leads to feelings of instability and insecurity. By implementing the following, you can begin to regain control and take some very positive steps toward loss recovery.
Plan
Don't play ostrich and let the holidays ambush you. Divide tasks into essential and non-essential. Shop by catalog or when the stores are less crowded. Change the routine or location. Start a new tradition. And, consult with immediate family members so all voices are heard.
Let Your Needs be Known
If you need help in preparation of a meal, ask. If you have some bittersweet times and need a shoulder to lean on, ask. If you want to talk about your loved one or the difficulty of this holiday, ask. Your family and friends are not mind-readers.
Develop One or More Coping Techniques
There will be rough times and days. Decide on what your stress reducer will be -- hot baths, long walks, deep breathing exercises, calling a friend, etc.
Watch Your Physical Health
Make sure you get extra rest and eat well. Overdoing (or dancing as fast as you can) is often a reaction to grief which can lead to total physical and mental exhaustion if carried to an extreme. You have enough to deal with; be kind to yourself and those that have to interact with you.
Resolve to Use Your Learning to Help Someone Else
Although you may have been through the most difficult year of your life, you have also grown in compassion and understanding for others. By using that knowledge to help someone else, you give meaning to your loss.
Copyright © TLC Group, Dallas Texas. Permission to republish granted to Pregnancy.org, LLC.
