"It was hard to decide who I wanted to attend my birth. After coming to a decision and inviting everyone I had doubts. I worried that there would be personality conflicts and I thought perhaps I'd made a mistake in choosing those I invited. However, when I went into labor I decided to call all of my team. It worked out beautifully, there were no problems, and I saw sides of my friends that I'd never witnessed before.

A year later, when I was invited to attend my friend's birth I was very excited, but knew that she also may have doubts and I may not get invited in the end. I tried to prepare myself for the possible disappointment, but I also spent a lot of time thinking about the event and just how powerful it was going to be. Unfortunately, someone who attended the birth informed me of the birth a day after the baby was born. I was very disappointed, but mostly I felt rejected. I know if I ever have another baby I will only invite those that I have a close enough relationship to that in the event that I decide not to call them, I can inform them of the baby's birth and tell them why they were not invited."

And Tiffany a home birth doula shares her advice about when to call your companions.

"I've found that the first people that you call when you are in labor are the ones you feel most comfortable with as your labor progresses. If you've invited 10 people to attend your birth and you call the first 5 during labor, it is very difficult to call the last 5 once labor has progressed. You get used to the first 5 and get an energy flowing with them that does not encourage interruption."

Children at the birth

Many families choose a birth at home particularly because it allows their other child or children to be a part of the family-changing event. There are those however, who feel that birth is a private affair and make other arrangements for their other children during the birth. If you have another child or children you may wonder if it's best for them to attend. Of course this will be a topic that each family will have to discuss and decide what is right for them.

If your other child/children do not attend you will have to arrange for childcare and plan how to get the child/children to the caregiver. If your other child (or children) will attend, depending on their age, you may pre-arrange for one of the birth party members to attend to him or her. You will also need to prepare your child/children for the birth.

You can begin this preparation the day you tell your child you're expecting. Talk about how the baby's growing and what changes will happen within your body. Take them to your prenatal visits. Let them be a part of listening to the baby's heartbeat and watching the midwife palpate your stomach. Most midwives have posters and life-size props of the pelvis and baby and she can demonstrate how the baby will come out. Closer to the birth you can also talk about the sounds you may make. You can have your child or children practice moaning and making primal sounds with you. You can talk about what they may see when the baby comes out and what the midwife will do. And you can discuss the child's role in the birth i.e., cutting the umbilical cord, helping to catch the baby etc. and make plans.

Help prepare your child or children for your birth with Rebecca's cute home birth coloring book, "There's a New Baby in My House."

Although you know your child best, you may be surprised with his or her reaction to birth. Some well-prepared children do not handle the birth well and become emotional and other children who've previously acted aloof about the impending birth may be drawn in and fascinated by the experience. It is good to keep an open mind. It is also a good idea to have a designated person to care for your child. Assigning someone to watch after your older child or children will allow you and your partner to focus on birthing the new baby. The caregiver can take the older child out of the room if it becomes overwhelming for you or the child and they can also watch your child while you labor and bring them to you when the baby is about to be born. You will want to choose a person with whom your child feels safe, a person who supports your decision to birth at home and someone you can call at any time of the day or night.¹

Pets and homebirth

Last but not least, you must consider your pets if you have any. Although you may want to include your pet in your birth you may want to consider the overall emotional effect that the birth may have on furry family members, dogs in particular. According to Jennifer Shryock, Certified Dog Behavior Consultant and developer of Dogs & Storks,. witnessing a birth may impact your dog negatively. "Many dogs that attend such a situation," she says, "often become sick shortly after." She attributes this to stress. As she states, "There is no way to communicate fairly to our companions that all is well. They are wiser then we know. They sense the stress and different situation no matter what we do." She speculates the association between scent and stress may contribute to fear and confusion.

"Babies smell like amniotic fluid and the dog may associate the baby with whatever phase of labor Mom was in when her water broke or the amniotic scent appeared." She says, "So, if mom is in full blown labor and vocalizing and this unique scent is there, then once baby comes....what is the association for the dog? Fear, panic, confusion?"