In addition to considering the emotional impact on your pet (especially dogs), you must also consider how he or she will fit into the birth space. Cats marking their territory or birth kit items or dogs "protecting" their owner(s) is not how midwives want to start a birth. Most midwives however, are open-minded when it comes to animals at birth; some even gave birth themselves with their pets present. They have limits, nevertheless, and most admit that dogs and cats are better outside the birth room.

Some common concerns midwives have are:

• Possessive animals that are hostile to the birth attendants
• Animal turning things over and ruining supplies
• Pets contaminating sterile equipment
• Excitement and hyperactivity of animals
• Pets getting in the way, wanting to put their noses in everything
• Pet hair on equipment
• Disruptive vocal pets

Although you love and understand your dog, your midwife might not share this affection, especially at a time when she needs to be focusing on you and the progression of your birth. Therefore, you may decide to keep your pet in another room until after the baby is born. If you believe it is best for your pet to be present at the birth you may want to treat your pet as you would another child. "Have several plans that happen in times of stress and make arrangements," says Jennifer Shryock.

Preparing your birth companions

So, how do you prepare your birth companions for a birth at home? You throw a birth preparation party! A good time for this is at your 36-week home prenatal appointment. Invite your birth companions to your home, perhaps serve a light meal or arrange a potluck dinner.

Explain to them that this will be a time when they will meet each other and your midwife, learn about your birth plan, get an idea of what to expect at a home birth and become familiar with your home. Your midwife will be there to answer questions and you can discuss what your desires for your birth are and how you feel your birth companions can best serve you. Your companions can get a feel for your home, and you can acquaint them with such things as the kitchen and the laundry room. They can view your birth kit and see where you plan to give birth.

Here are some ideas and topics to cover at your birth party:

• Introductions -- let everyone tell who they are and how they know you.
• Explain why you want to give birth at home.
• Explain your "birth plan" -- describe what you want and what you don't want to happen at your birth. Talk about your previous birth experience(s) and what you'd like to be the same and different with this birth.
• Tell your companions why you chose them and what you hope their personality or talents will add to your birth.
• List possible jobs and functions. Ask for what you need and take volunteers.
• Go over driving directions, work out any questions, and get contact information from each participant. Find out at what point in labor that they want to be contacted.
• Watch a birth video to familiarize guests with home birth.

A good way to make sure that your companions remember all the topics that you cover at your party is to create a keepsake booklet.

Here are some things that you could include in your book:

• A letter to the birth companion
• The reasons why you choose a birth at home
• Your hopes and plans for birth
• Possible job opportunities
• Stages-of-labor chart
• List the ways your companions can be helpful
• A list of things for your companion to put in her travel bag
• Directions to your home and contact information
• Previous birth story

A birth party allows you to experience the energy created by your birth companions. You will be able to detect any negative energy and decide on how to remedy it before the birth. It is also the beginning of the bond you will soon complete with your birth companions.

There is a lot to planning your birth and although choosing if and who to invite can be a big sticking point it is important to remember that this is YOUR birth. You'll only get to do it a few times in your life and whether this is your first baby or your 7th, each birth is a different journey. It is often filled with moments of vulnerability, doubt, and exhilaration. Who is best to come with you on this journey? Will it be one of intimacy or one you want to share with many others? If you put a lot of thought and love into your decision, trust your first instincts and do not give in to guilt or obligation you will have done all you can in choosing the best companions for your birth. This is a journey that can create a beautiful bond between you and those that attend and the day of your birth can be one you will all remember with fondness.

1. Home Birth by Alice Gilgoff Published 1978, 2000 p.117

Rebecca Britt Walton lives in North Carolina with her husband and two boys. After the birth of her first son in 2003 she started researching and writing and collaborated with her sister who is a web designer and together they created www.nchomebirth.com. She loves being an advocate for homebirth and is studying to be a doula and childbirth educator on her path to becoming a midwife.

Copyright © Rebecca Britt Walton. Permission to republish granted to Pregnancy.org, LLC.