by Kristin Magnacca
Whether or not you are out of the closet to your family and friends regarding your fertility issues, holidays or special occasions including the upcoming Mother's Day celebration can be difficult to handle.
While going through fertility treatment, the approach of Mother's Days left me with mixed emotions. I wanted to be with my mom to honor her on her day, but I was caught in the middle of my own unpleasant feelings about not having achieved motherhood myself. Being with my mom meant being with the whole family and having to prepare for all the emotional "stuff" that came with this situation.
My experience with my own "fertility challenges," and information I learned through trial and error, enabled me to develop the strategies below that can help those during these often difficult situations.
After that incident I practiced my response:
This one goes for the juggler! "You know what, I probably would have thought that same thing, but never said it out loud. In my experience, I've learned that how I see things might be very far from the truth!"
Why don't you have children? When are you going to start a family? "I would love to have children, sometimes it isn't as easy as it seems." "Hey, that's a great idea!" or "Bite me!"
I really relied on the first elevator speech to get me through a lot of tight spots. I would shorten it to, "You know I probably would have thought the same thing but never said it out loud." This usually shuts the person up cold and the subject is immediately changed.