How to Keep Your Romance "Alive" After Baby

by Robert A. Gehring

Keep Your Romance You've just arrived home with the most endearing of distractions. No, it's not a puppy this time.

Instead, it's your precious bundle of joy -- your newborn. Before you figure this is just another one of "those" kind of articles, take a deep, calming, cleansing breathe and know you're not alone.

Your new family member, whether they mean to or not, can put a "kink" in the spousal romance department.

Guess what? You don't have to let that happen. Your romance is worth fighting for. We can help you put your "plan" into action with these groovy ideas, because we've all been there.

Plan an Evening Out

You can still fit a little romance into your daily routine. You can even go for a glamorous night out. This plan requires a sitter, but we'll get to that point in a bit.

Plan Your Date

Anticipation can be half the fun. Sports, food, action? What sounds most attractive this week? Planning leads to action. Action means you might get to get out of the house!

Find a Sitter

Ask friends for recommendations and line up a babysitter. You can always beg your relatives. They probably won't mind watching the new addition.

If a babysitter isn't possible, take the little one along. Breastfeed or feed the baby before reaching your destination and then carry baby in with you. While some might not consider "baby makes three" the most ideal for romance, your tiny companion will probably snooze through dinner and allow the two of you a chance to catch up. The goal is you both break free of the house and normal routine and that should help "spice things up" later.

Getting Ready

Before baby, getting ready to head out for a night on the town meant a few minutes morphing from your work to evening persona. Now it entails a balancing act between baby demands and finding something that fits your new shape and isn't decorated with "eau de baby" spit-up or worse.

Pitch in and give each other a hand.

He can: Spend time with the baby, so she can have her hair done or just have a relaxing bath.

She can: Step out of the sweats or pj's and dress up. Making the extra effort lets him know he's "worth it" and leaves you feeling special.

Leave the Kids at Home

No kids, nice restaurant, precious time together! You spend at least 80 percent of your time together talking about the baby. Why leave home to just talk about the kids?

"After looking forward to finally getting out of the house, no one warned me that I would make an excuse in the middle of dinner to go home early because I missed my son so much." ~Renee, member

Get creative. Your big night out might have fallen through, but you can keep your anticipated evening afloat with one of these romantic tips.

Daily Romance Boosts

Laugh Together

Laughter relieves tension, lifts spirits, and bring couples closer together.

Every relationship goes through an occasional fun rut. Notch up humor with a good comedy, a new project or retelling old jokes. Even those re-runs can trigger a giggle!

Share Interests

Between careers, kids, household chores, together time can become a distant memory. Whether it's gardening, programming or building a the best sport car ever, a common interest allows you to combine creative outlets and couple time.

Learn Together

Does it seem you go the same things day after day? Kick those boring, old routines and learn something new together. Take dancing lessons, conquer a video game world, or learn a language. You could even be as adventurous as cooking classes or origami.

Go to Bed Together

You might need to put on just one more load of clothes. He might need to send a couple more emails. Hitting the hay at the same time allows you a time to for a little pillow talk and maybe a bit more. We're just saying...

Dream Together

Brainstorm all of the things that you've never done. Would you like to buy a house? Have you always wanted to see the Grand Canyon? Share your thoughts, dreams, and plans.

In the parenting realm, we hear about elaborate evenings and expensive gifts. Healthy romance builds on the small stuff. Keep your relationship marching along with tiny acts of kindness. A candy kiss. A full gas tank. Giving up the remote for trading spaces.

One of my favorite romantic memories is a tiny bouquet of wild flowers I picked for a girl with soft brown eyes. You never know what you might find on your drive home.

Which gift or gesture adds "fire" to your relationship?