My Dear baby boy, Josiah Patrick Biddlecome,
You were born Monday June 3rd, 2002, Wow! I thought something might be up when I was having contractions Sunday at church. I'd only had them at night before. Well, my water broke about 5:30 am. I thought I had to go to the bathroom but I couldn't hold it, woke up and the water broke in the toilet.

Then I called Daddy, my midwife (Sheri), and my friend Jessica (who had previously home birthed and was going to help Sheri). I told Daddy that I would call him back but I forgot and went to take a bath. He got scared and called me, I didn't answer the phone so he called the neighbors. Barbara came over while we waited for Daddy to get off work. The contractions were about 10 minutes apart and 20-30 seconds long.

Daddy got here later. In the meantime, Barbara timed my contractions, and Al,her husband, stopped by to make sure everything was ok. Daddy got here about an hour later. Barbara left and returned later. Daddy fixed himself some food and began washing dishes. Barbara came back over, finished the dishes, and timed my contractions which went from 6 minutes to 3 minutes apart, lasting about 60 seconds each.

I had Daddy call Sheri again, but couldn't reach her. Jessica called and told Daddy she was coming. While I was in the bathroom for the "thousandth" time, Sheri, the midwife came. I laid on the bed and Daddy worked on helping to relax me, massaging my back and feet, and I tried to relax. We stayed that way for awhile until the contractions were stronger. Then Sheri checked me but had me wait to push because the cervix wasn't entirely over your head yet. This was about 11:30 or so.

We eventually moved off the bed. I am not sure when it was. Sheri had brought a birthing stool. I sat on that and pushed with the contractions. I would feel your head coming a little farther down after a few contractions and pushing. Soon I could feel your head right at the opening. This continued for awhile. I would break during the contractions and drink juice and water, and rock back and forth with my eyes closed, totally relaxed.

Sheri and Jessica went into the living room for awhile and Daddy stayed with us. I then felt like I had to go to the bathroom, your head was very far down. Daddy helped me to the toilet. Sheri said I could use the restroom if I promised not to push, and if I "would stop pushing if I felt the baby coming." I told her ok. And while I was there I felt you coming all of a sudden so I shouted "The baby's coming!"

I don't remember moving but somehow Sheri and Daddy got me from the toilet to the birthing stool. "I don't know if he is going to come now." I said. I relaxed for a few seconds till another contraction. This time when I pushed there was great pressure and slight burning. Sheri said if I felt burning to stop so I would not tear. I pushed very hard and your head came out. It felt very strange with part of you inside and part of you out. I was worried and said, "Is it out?" "Is it ok?" And Sheri said, "The head is out. Everything is fine."

I then pushed you out and you felt bony. Daddy caught you and Sheri suctioned you a bit because there was a little meconium staining. You cried out right away and I knew you were ok. They put you on my chest and I held you. I was glad to be done with that and be done being pregnant. I'm so glad to have you!

I had a few small contractions then I pushed the placenta out. Daddy cut the umbilical cord. Later Daddy measured and weighed you and took pictures, and we called everyone.

I laid on the bed while Sheri checked me out. She told me I had torn. We didn't know how bad until later. It is pretty bad, but I don't want to go get stitches so I am going to let it heal normally on it's own. It hurts to sit down.

(Added) -- I had a 2nd degree tear. But it healed just fine. Sheri let the baby come without having me hold him there as I had been pushing so long. Looking back on it, I pushed because I wanted to not because I felt I had to. Also all the pushing gave Josiah a huge cone head, which freaked hubby out, but he was fine!