by Ashley Henneman
Hello, there. My name is Ashley, I live in South Carolina, and I am 18 years old. I have a two-year-old named Brandon, a one-year-old named Nicholas, and I am expecting a little girl in June.
Here's how my story begins. I was raped after my first son. I found out I was pregnant about 2 months after it happened. It was really hard but I told my mom that I had been raped and that I was pregnant. I personally don't believe in abortions, so I chose to place him for adoption to a wonderful couple.
I gave birth on Dec 20th and placed him for adoption on December 23rd. I spent three days in the hospital with him and enjoyed every moment of it. I have a semi-open adoption. I don't know their phone number or address, but I have met with them several times before I placed him to them. I went through my church for the adoption (LDS Family services).
I get letters and pictures of him often. I write letters back, too. I am very happy with the set-up of the adoption. Although it was the hardest thing I have ever done and ever will do, I don't regret it. And if it happened again, I would do the same thing. I know what I did (in my case) was the right thing to do.
Sometimes I feel bad when I am happy because he isn't here with me. I think what kind of a person am I to give my child away and then still have happy times. But I went through my sad stage where I stayed in my room most of the time for a few months. And then I thought, he is happy; he is in a great and loving home; I should feel good that I cared enough about him to give him a great chance at life.
I love and care about him very much and think about him daily. But I can't cry about it forever. All I do know is that the best thing to do is talk about it and be open to how you feel. And if you ever talk to someone who has placed a child for adoption never say, "I know how you feel," because unless you have done it yourself, you don't.
Thanks for reading my story. I hope it can help some people understand why some women choose to put their children up for adoption instead of abortion.
Are you or a friend a birth mom? Read Relinguishing a Baby for Adoption. Pregnancy.org' experts Debbie Davis and Mara Stein empathize and share ideas that can help everyone feel good about that adoption.
Ashley is mommy to Brandon, Nicholas and Breanna.