At the end of November when radiation was over, I didn't know what to do with myself. I had spent the last 6 months of my life fighting this and being in and out of the hospital and doctors' offices.
It was like I was being let go. I was afraid to live a real life again. After 2 weeks of deep depression, I started my life up again. No longer did I have to fight. I had won. I only had to go back to my doctors every 3 months for checkups and routine tests. In an odd way I missed all the constant attention and procedures. They were comforting to me because I knew something was being done to kill the cancer.
It was hard for me to accept that I did not have cancer anymore. But I slowly got into the routine of being a new mom and enjoying my new healthy body - which looked much better with hair.
Two years have gone by now and I am still in remission. My son is now 2 and is the light of my life. He is the reason I fought so hard to stay here. I have been married to the same wonderful man for 5 years now and we have been in our new house for a year. I am a cancer free stay-at-home mom and loving every minute of it (yes, even on those "terrible two tantrum days" I get on my knees and thank God for my many blessings).
I go in for check ups every 6 months. There are days that go by when I don't even think about cancer. But the nagging fear is always there - when is it going to come back and take my life?? Hopefully never, but there are no guarantees. I just have to live in the moment and not worry about what will be. I am here now. Everything else is in God's hands. He has shown me that miracles do happen...my son and I are living proof.
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