I cried to myself, I cried to my husband and I cried to my son. There were days when my husband went back to work where after 6 hours of no sleep and crying, I just started screaming right back at my son. I would sometimes even just put him down and leave, I'd go outside in the cold and just sit there, trying so hard not to walk back in the house and pitch my son outside instead. I don't know how many times I screamed, "I hate you." I don't know how often we looked at adoption ads. Sometimes my husband would come home to a screaming baby and a frazzled wife who would scream at him the minute he walked in the door. I'm sure there were days when he didn't want to come home.
Things did get better. Slowly, we started being able to put him down long enough to stretch and use the restroom. The swing and other things got some very brief use. The colic got worse, then suddenly went away and I started being able to eat decent food. Now that my son is 4 months old, I jumped the gun and offered solids. He took to it so well that dinnertime is actually nice for us now. He sits in his exersaucer and will watch an entire Baby Einstein video sometimes. He sleeps in a bassinet beside the bed for short stretches, though he still co-sleeps, and still wakes 2 - 5 times a night. He learned to sit up and that made a huge difference in attitude. He smiles, laughs, and loves his daddy.
We have a lot more hurdles to overcome but my son is becoming a new baby every day. He still doesn't like strangers, bottles, family functions or sleeping on his own, but he's darn near perfect and after what we've been through we're happy with how things are now. Hey, maybe in a couple years I can go on a date with my husband, come home to him sleeping in his own bed and sleep until 9 a.m. without any interruptions. But of course I'll just settle for one of those adorable baby chuckles.
About the author: Nadine's mom to five little ones and currently lives in Idaho.
Copyright © Nadine Gallegos. Permission to republish granted to Pregnancy.org, LLC