Diane's experience shows how crucial it is for breastfeeding women to receive ongoing support and reassurance. Unfortunately, such assistance is not always readily forthcoming.

"Breastfeeding women do not get nearly the positive support that they need," says Hunking. "There is so much hostility to the breastfeeding woman in our culture. It's changing, but it's very, very slow change."

Finding yourself at home alone with a new baby for the first time can also be quite a challenge. If she has always been an active participant in the workforce, a new mother may feel lost during her first weeks at home with a new baby. She may feel frightened by her increased dependency on her partner, and may feel frustrated by her inability to accomplish what once seemed to be simple tasks (i.e. housework, meal preparation) while caring for a baby.

In their book, The Second Nine Months, Judith M. Gansberg and Arthur P. Mostel discuss the significant adjustment that postpartum women must make if they are to regain their feelings of self-worth: "One of the first things a new mother must learn to do before she can really build up her self-esteem and feel fully human again is to treat herself like a worthwhile person. That includes a whole range of things... - whatever makes her feel good about her physical appearance and wellbeing. But getting yourself together also requires a kind of mental exercise - the development of perspective on what is really important and necessary, what can be put off, what can realistically be accomplished, and what the woman needs to stay in balance emotionally."

Friends and family have a critical role to play during the postpartum period, and women need to learn how to accept their offers of help. "It's a time when a lot of people do offer a lot of help, and I think it's a time when women should accept it, and be directive about what is helpful to them," says Hunking.

Hunking feels that the first six weeks postpartum are crucial in that they often set the tone of things for the entire first year. "Let yourself sleep when you need to sleep," she advises. "There are so many other things to do, but taking care of yourself in the postpartum is also a really, really important thing to do. Many women are made to feel that they aren't allowed to have that rest.

"If you aren't allowed to recuperate and recover and take the time to process this magnificent event, it's really hard to catch up. Women deserve the time to process everything on a physical level and an emotional level. They deserve that time. Friends and families need to start giving postpartum women that time."

For Marie Lane-Smith, the hardest part of the postpartum period for her was learning to give herself permission to nurture herself, even if that sometimes meant thinking of her own needs before those of her child. "I learned that the baby's survival depends on the mother's survival," she explains. "It was hard to see that after the first baby. I had to take care of myself, or the whole family would suffer. It was truly a matter of survival."

Peterborough, Ontario, mother of two Jennifer Massie agrees. "On the outside, it may seem like the baby is the priority, but, really, you're the priority because you're the baby's food supply. Besides, your mental health affects the baby's mental health. You have to make yourself the priority."

Ann Douglas is the author of The Unofficial Guide to Childcare, Baby Science How Babies Really Work, and The Unofficial Guide to Having A Baby. She writes the monthly "Mom's the Word" column for Canadian Parents Online and is a regular contributor to a number of print and online publications. She and her husband Neil have four children. Ann is frequently quoted in the media on a range of parenting-related topics, and has appeared as a guest on a number of television and radio shows. She can be contacted via her management firm, Page One Productions Inc.

Ann and her husband Neil live in Peterborough, Ontario, with their four children Julie, Scott, Erik, and Ian . A fifth child, Laura Ann, was stillborn in 1996 due to a true knot in her umbilical cord.

Copyright © Ann Douglas. Permission to republish granted to Pregnancy.org, LLC.