Tuning Into Your Sensual Self During Pregnancy

by Danielle Cavallucci

Early pregnancy's wash of emotions and body image issues can be profound for most women. Many feel as though their sexy factor decreases with every inch around the middle, especially in a culture that promotes the idea that thin is in and tiny is beautiful. Mojo can take a dive when you're feeling pudgy or puffy, especially with all of the imagery you're bombarded with everyday!

When you find yourself preferring sleep to sex, the old stand-by "fake it 'til you make it'" can really work wonders. While you may feel like giving in to the "blahs," using deep breathing and tuning into your body first will help you to more accurately assess the root causes of your blasé attitude. Acting rather than reacting is the key to maintaining a healthy sexual connection and sensuality to our bodies and out partners throughout pregnancy.

Deep belly breaths into the second chakra can be one of the most effective methods of re-centering and getting back into the body. Place your hands just below your naval and above your pubic bone and take a deep breath into the area. Allow it to expand into your hands and press them out. Allow yourself to appreciate the miracle that is your body, the life that is growing in your body and the sexuality that allowed your pregnancy to take place.

Relish the sensual and sexual nature of reproduction, and honor your body's ability to carry you forth through all of life's changes and adventures, including your pregnancy.

Repeat this exercise daily to ground your energy and soothe your nerves. An anxious state of mind and body is hardly conducive to re-connecting with your partner or for making good choices about nutrition, activity and schedule. Prioritizing is virtually impossible in panic mode and overload. Use this breathing exercise to find your calm and mitigate the stress response that can kill even the healthiest sexual response.

Most discomfort stems from resisting the dramatic hormonal and physical transitions your body is undergoes during pregnancy. Use breath and calm to restore your sense that all is well and will be OK. Breathe in and embrace change as a wonderful part of the process.

When you are in appreciation, the beauty of pregnancy becomes apparent, a part of you, and you are more able to celebrate the miraculous process your body is undertaking. Learning to view your body as a beautiful expression and extension of your sexuality and the sexual connection shared between partners is a wonderful tool to assuage any difficulties and disconnect you may be experiencing.

Learning to ask and disclose fears and apprehensions that inevitably come up during pregnancy without judgment and accusation is vital to maintaining your intimacy. Openness and honesty, framed in a positive way, can be the keys to unlocking a deeper intimate, communicative connection.

However, it is imperative that you avoid communicating about difficult or inflammatory subjects when you are in the throes of an emotionally charged breakdown. Rather, prepare for disclosure by journaling or writing down the major points you’d like to discuss with your partner. Be careful to maintain a measure of personal responsibility with your communications. Don't blame your partner for you insecurity or neglect, rather try asking for what you need to feel better.

For example, many women can feel overwhelmed when their partners don't help around the house. It seems like a trivial matter, but it isn't. To some women, failure to tend to the domestic aspects of maintaining a household can be akin to outright rejection of the partnership. When a woman falls into the trap of non-communication, the facts can get convoluted by the emotional response to perceived neglect. She can start to bunch in a gaggle of other, non-pertinent items to the bottom line.

Distill and be direct. It may seem unromantic to have to point out our precise needs, but it is far better than suffering in silence when your needs aren't getting met. Your partner is not, and will never be a mind-reader! Stick to the heart of the matter, and don't get caught in the downward spiral of negativity that non-communication can breed.