Say something to the effect of "Honey, I really miss our sexual connection, miss you, want to feel closer to you. Can we try...?" rather than "You never do the dishes," "you never touch me," and other "you" statements that the recipient on immediate defense. Take the time to diffuse your stress and calm down prior to approaching your partner with what you think is going on. Offer implicit instructions about what can help mitigate your stressors. For example, suggest that your partner handle the dishes and the laundry on such and such days. Follow up with acknowledgment and reinforcement via genuine gratitude.
Be leery of self-pity -- it is the most unrewarding and unproductive place to revel. Try, instead, to focus on those things about this pregnancy, your body's ability to give and receive pleasure, and your partner that you can be truly grateful for. Focusing on the positive aspects of your life rather than allowing worries and negativity to consume you is the key to maintaining your balance during the changes your pregnancy is sure to induce.
When you've already done everything within your control to handle a situation or change a circumstance, worry is one of the most energy-wasting activities on the planet. Living in the now and enjoying each precious moment of your pregnancy and your life is far more rewarding in the short and long term; and will keep you and your partner in synch.
Danielle Cavallucci has been involved with health-focused advocacy for over a decade. After the birth of her first child she became a birthing mentor and a specialist in pregnancy fitness. A Reiki master and holistic practitioner, her works include founding Sensual Fusion and working with both men and women to achieve their highest potential for sensual, physical and spiritual fulfillment within the context of facilitation and re-centering. Her energetic influence has reached thousands of mothers-to-be and their partners via internet, broadcast and written word. She works with people nationwide via telephone, teleconference and face time from her home in Laguna Beach.
Check out her book Your Orgasmic Pregnancy: Little Sex Secrets Every Hot Mama Should Know for further detail on maintaining a positive self-image and sex life before, during and after pregnancy.
Copyright © Danielle Cavallucci. Permission to republish granted to Pregnancy.org, LLC.