by Sandra Huber
I know that we all want the best of us to come forward on every interaction that we have with our kids. Life happens at every turn and we as moms have plenty of opportunities to go back, say I am sorry and try again. We have many daily opportunities to guide our children into the kind of adult we want them to be: thoughtful, compassionate, enthusiastic, visionary and hardworking.
The truth is that we are not always "in the mood" to do what it takes to get the mission accomplished. When you think about it, instead of beating yourself up because you have "failed," you can choose to see this as another opportunity for our kids to learn that Mommies are people too!
I invite you to consider these five tips on effective parenting. See how as you take one at a time, and implement them in a way that makes sense to you and your family. This is not a competition or a race neither is it something that will bring perfect results overnight. Remember: overnight
success only happens on B-movies and trashy novels.
The only caveat is that you renounce here and now, the burden of carrying with you the Perfect Mommy Myth. I know for a fact that she doesn't exist and comparing yourself to the way things look in somebody else's life is one of the most damaging things we can do to ourselves and to our kids.
Affirming words from moms and dads are like light switches: speak a word of affirmation at the right moment in a child’s life and it is like lightening up a whole room full of possibilities. ~~ Gary Smalley
So, let's get started!
Few things in life remind us of the power that resides in living in the moment as having children do. Our kids defy our notion that tomorrow is a good option. They live in the present and invite us with every interaction to be in the moment with them. Let's allow them to lead us into one of the
most effective ways to empower our relationships with them: Be here now.
Ask yourself, Am I being congruent with what I say I want my family life to be like and what I am actually doing? Do I say sitting together to dinner as a family is a priority only to find myself eating in front of the TV every night without the opportunity for interaction or conversation?
There isn't a moment when you are not teaching your children -- if you're helping with schoolwork, watching their team sports or just sitting down to the family meals, you are not only teaching them by what you tell them but by your example. It doesn't matter if you're having dinner in your kitchen or if you're a part-time parent who is having dinner at McDonald's. What matters is that you're really there!
Make it a point to have ONE meal together a day if at all possible. Have an indoor picnic on the floor. Serve banana splits for dinner or pasta for breakfast.
Parenting is about the millions of "small things" and not about big events or sounding great when you talk about them. It's about the quiet times and the little things.
The key here is to remember: you can't give a 100% to anything a 100% percent of the time. That's OK. But I encourage you to consider giving a good percentage on a regular basis and see that nurturing pay off in way you never thought possible!
I love that my grandmother always said: "Start as you mean to continue." I was puzzled by that statement until I became an adult. I have realized as the years have gone by that we all put in motion so many things by the choices we make today.
There's nothing mystical about the simple fact that what we do today, does and will have consequences on our tomorrows. This is an important lesson to keep in mind especially when we are raising children. The example we offer them with our behavior (most of the time) becomes part of who they are tomorrow.
As moms, we also have the responsibility to guide our kids and support them in accomplishing their
goals, the ones we set together as a family. Our primary goal as our children's first teachers is to give them the tools so they can lead successful lives, whatever that means to them.