by Jovanna Acevedo Quesada
Valentine's Day comes, and it goes.
Every year, we go out of our way to find that "perfect" present for our loved ones.
Sometimes, we hit it just right, other times...well...not so much.
We know that the heart of the suitor in the right place (usually), but even the best intentions can make for serious Valentine's Day disasters.
Heed our "warnings" and avoid these tricky traps! Here's our top ten items NOT to get and why! Add your worst gifts ever in the comments!
1. A Vacuum
Partners, it does not matter if she asked for it specifically -- a vacuum or any other unauthorized appliance is not to be given as a gift. "Clean my house" isn't the best way to say, "I love you."
2. A Puppy
As cute as they can be, puppies (and kittens) also poop, pee and whimper their way through the first few months. Most women prefer less work, not more! The exception is an adorable, stuffed toy, preferably holding chocolate.
3. Coupon Book
It's a cute idea…for a three-year-old. But please don't hand her a book of promises. She shouldn't have to cash in a ticket to get a massage or have you accomplish a chore.
This is petty, but true. You cannot buy us clothes! Every garment translates to some insecurity! Your best best, a gift certificate from her favorite shop. Then, she can pick out exactly what she wants.
5. Surprise Visitors
Surprise! It's your mom! Agh! Don’t spring a houseguest on a person...ever. You're not going to get a lot of points with this idea.
6. Dinner and Movie
We're not saying that we don't want to spend time with you. But time in a theater is wasted because you can't talk. The waiter at the restaurant insists on asking us how our dinner is 592 times. A restaurant on Valentine's Day is one of the busiest nights ever so take her out another night! Better yet, make dinner at home!
7. A Dozen Red Roses
Why did these make the list? Because it's cliché that’s why! Unless they're delivered to your door by a unicorn from a florist in Italy that only tends four bushes per year, she's not going to be impressed. Now if you get flowers out of the blue, for no reason? You'll get points!
8. The Honey "Do" List
YAY! You finished it. However, don't think this can pass as a gift for Valentine's Day. Chances are she'll notice when list items are done. Thanks anyway, though. Next idea.
9. Bubble Bath
While the thought is romantic, bubble bath products can play havoc with the parts you want to play with later. Pass on the bottle of scented bubbles and buy us champagne or sparkling cider instead!
10. Jumper Cables
Honest, one of my friends received a set of these from her dear boyfriend. He knows better now. This will just not do for a present. If our car dies, you come fix it. End of story.
So what do we want? We want chocolate. A lot of it. The more expensive, the better. And booze, booze is good but only if we're not pregnant.
Come to think of it, hire a sitter, give us chocolate, booze and a few moments to collect our thoughts. That will be the best Valentine's Day ever!
What's been the worst present you've ever received? Tell us in the comments!
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