by Danielle Cavallucci
In response to my appearance on ABC 7's View From the Bay to promote my book, Your Orgasmic Pregnancy: Little Sex Secrets Every Hot Mama Should Know, a Facebook pal whose name's been changed to Joe to protect the guilty in the penning of this piece, thanked me for "shedding light on a topic which most men would never think about."
Joe, you've got to be joking, right?
If most men would never think about sex, how did these girls get pregnant in the first place? Furthermore, if most men don't consider their pregnant partners extremely sexy, especially during early pregnancy, why would the majority of men I speak with practically burst at the seams with exuberance upon discovering my book?
In fact, most of them launch into fears, myths and pressures surrounding the topic of sex and pregnancy, grateful for a free forum in which to unload their secrets.
As pregnancy happens to be the ultimate outcome of having sexual relations, the notion that you actually believe most men wouldn't even think of the subject is absurd to me! If your partner's knocked up, doesn't it follow that you will probably continue in your fascination with her "nether" regions during and after the birth of your child?
As a matter of fact, Joe, there are so many men pregnancy fetishes that entire websites and blogs are devoted to the topic! Don't believe me? Conduct your own Google or Bing search. I guarantee you'll find that this is something that lots of men think of. In fact, whether you're procreating or not, chances are, you've at least thought of it!
My point of outrage with this unintended slight is this: every single one of us has had a birth experience, whether merely by our own introduction into this fun-filled world of ours or other birth experiences we're blessed to share as manner of course. The fact that most people have zero clue as to what happens "down there" during and after childbirth, or what the fundamental emotional and physical metamorphoses women and their partners often undergo during a pregnancy is astonishing! Wouldn't the fact that every single one of us arrived via some sort of birth experience seem to suggest that most men and women have, at some point at least thought of the subject?
During interviews, in preparation for writing YOP, and the majority of men I've spoken with since, seem relieved that someone else has opened the floor for them to feel comfortable broaching the subject. A vast majority of women, including me, really wanted to know what would happen to their "rue privee" once the delivery was made.
It's all so much part of everyone, it's shocking that we're not talking about it more openly in more venues!
Why and how our society can relegate the natural to the realm of taboo, while acting nonchalant where shameless, pointless violence is displayed on prime time television for all to see is a quandary that baffles. The seemingly wide-spread notion that pregnancy is a less-than-attractive state of being is beyond my comprehension.
Bursting with life, the pregnant body can often allow for women to become multiply orgasmic and extremely desirous. Due to the bath of "love" hormones like oxytocin, coupled with vaso-dilation, the biggest barriers to sex during pregnancy is usually misinformation. Couples who have been mislead to think that sex during pregnancy is not OK are often too afraid to talk about sexual intimacy with doctors, peers or family; and are relegated to denying themselves a lot of pleasure and healthy connection during pregnancy. Barring doctor's orders and special circumstances, abstaining is actually a really bad idea for most couples.
So, Joe, buy our book. Get yourself a good look at what pregnant sexuality is and isn't; and don't tell me that most men would "never have even thought of it!"
Danielle Cavallucci has been involved with health-focused advocacy for over a decade. After the birth of her first child she became a birthing mentor and a specialist in pregnancy fitness. A Reiki master and holistic practitioner, her works include founding Sensual Fusion and working with both men and women to achieve their highest potential for sensual, physical and spiritual fulfillment within the context of facilitation and re-centering. Her energetic influence has reached thousands of mothers-to-be and their partners via internet, broadcast and written word. She works with people nationwide via telephone, teleconference and face time from her home in Laguna Beach.
Copyright © Danielle Cavallucci. Permission to republish granted to Pregnancy.org, LLC.