We were a family of three and wanted to add one more to our family. My husband and I have a 1-year-old little girl and hoped our children would be close in age. We began trying for our second child when our daughter was 7-months-old. We were really looking forward to this because my first pregnancy went so well.
We were lucky enough to get pregnant on our first try, like the first time around. However, we were not able to enjoy our good news for long. I suspected I was pregnant right away, but the home pregnancy test came back negative. Yet, I didn't get my period over the next 2 weeks.
At first I just thought I wasn't having my period because I was still nursing our then 8-month-old baby. Then came the symptoms! I knew I just had to be pregnant so I took another test. Just as I thought, I was pregnant. The positive line was faint but definitely there. I went the next morning to have a blood test done, just to be sure! As my husband waited for the good news at work, I waited anxiously at home.
As soon as they called with the good news I phoned my husband who proudly told everyone at work. I hung up the phone and went to the bathroom. I had started to spot, something I didn't do with my first pregnancy. The doctor's office was now closed so I'd have to wait it out until the morning.
Over night the spotting got worse and I knew it wasn't a good sign. I called the doctor's office in the morning and they had me come in right away for an ultrasound. My fears were confirmed. There was no heartbeat. The miscarriage continued over the weekend and by Monday my HCG levels were below zero.
I was heartbroken and wanted to try again right away. After one regular period we were pregnant again. This was the third pregnancy in one year. This time I was no longer nursing my 9-month-old. The home pregnancy test was positive right away. I thought this was a good sign. Our first doctor's appointment went well and everything seemed to be on track. When we passed the 6-week mark, I thought we were in the clear. We told our family and friends with a little hesitation at first, as the weeks passed we felt more comfortable telling everyone we saw. I even bought a few maternity outfits.
I was excited to go for our first ultrasound at 11 weeks; to finally see the baby and feel 100% at ease. What happened at our 11-week visit was the exact opposite. We took our then 11-month-old with us so it would be a family experience, even though she would not understand what was going on. The moment the vision came up on the ultrasound screen the doctor knew something was wrong. He asked if I was sure I was 11-weeks along, and I was. But again there was no heartbeat. The fetus was not developed enough to be 11-weeks along. I knew it was not possible to be any less than 11-weeks along.
I fell apart. They scheduled a repeat ultrasound for the following week. Over the next week nothing really happened except some light spotting the day before our next appointment. Our next ultrasound revealed the same thing. I was now 12-weeks along and hadn't started to have this miscarriage on my own. Our doctor was wonderful. She gave us the option of a D&C or to wait it out. We chose to wait it out. The following weekend it happened. It took about 3 days of cramping, clotting and passing tissue, the worst 3 days of my life. To tell you the truth it hasn't gotten much better. It has been 4 weeks now and some days are better than others.
Today I started my first regular period, which was bittersweet. Bitter because it reminds me that I am not pregnant and sweet because it puts me one month closer to the next time we try. We have decided to wait much longer before trying this time, maybe up to 6 months. My doctor thinks my body just couldn't handle everything in one year. It makes sense now but I'm sure it won't comfort me when we try again. So for our family of four, well two in a row doesn't make four!
Submitted anonymously. Permission to republish granted to Pregnancy.org, LLC.