What Not to Say to Your Pregnant Woman!

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by Sam Holt

Okay boys, your wife is pregnant and things are starting to get interesting. The hormones are kicking in and things can get a little bit dicey. There are so many areas of discussion that can get you into hot water. Here are few typical issues faced by the unassuming dad-to-be.


The big daddy of all blunders. Baby weight is a topic that is almost unavoidable. At some point you are going to say something that may hit a nerve or she'll ask you about her weight. "Do these jeans look too small?" "Does my butt look big?" etc, etc.

If you are worried about your partner putting on excessive weight there are things you can do about it, namely, cooking and exercise.

On the cooking front buy yourself a cookbook that focuses on nutrition during pregnancy. These books are often full of easy to prepare meals that are very nutritious for mom and the baby. Your wife isn’t going to feel like cooking very often, she will be very tired at night and it's easy for you both to slip into bad eating habits during pregnancy.

What she eats the baby eats so in effect you are really cooking for your child as well. How cool! Pregnant women don't need to double their calorie intake but they do need to increase the amount of vitamins and minerals they consume so eating right is very important.

Exercising is another important aspect of a healthy pregnancy and it's something you can do together. Weekly, find the time to go for at least four 30-40 minute walks with her. As mentioned, she will be very tired a lot of the time and may need some motivation to exercise so for nine months you can be like her personal trainer. It's good for her and the baby to stay fit and healthy. Walking together is also quality time that you can spend talking about the baby and life together after the birth.

Zig Ziggler the world renowned motivational speaker has written some great books on relationships. He believes that married couples need to say at least 5 positive comments for every negative one in order to maintain a healthy relationship.

I don't know if it’s true but I do know pregnant women need a lot of emotional support so I think Zig’s 5 to 1 rule is a great one for pregnancy. Tell her you love her, she looks beautiful, she's doing a great job, you appreciate what she's doing for your family, etc, as many times as you can and try your best to not say anything derogatory or negative.

If she is eating well, exercising regularly and getting the positive emotional support from you she needs then you will hopefully avoid all issues revolving around weight that land so many dads-to-be in the outhouse.

Get involved and be active

Every woman wants their partner to be actively involved and interested in pregnancy and birth. The birth of your first child should be one of the most memorable days of your lives -- what an incredible experience. Unless you prepare yourself, like you would for an important meeting or a big sporting match, chances are you won't have the best experience that you possibly can.

Many of the things men say that get them into trouble revolve around them not being up to speed on issues they should be. By demonstrating that you are interested and involved you are going to save yourself from a lot of potential problems. We have created two tools to help you achieve these goals:

  • Being Dad DVD -- buy it and watch it with her. She will love the film (as will you) and you will look like a super star. It’s a great way to spend 80 minutes together and it will help you talk about issues they may be bothering you but you haven’t had the courage to broach as yet.

  • Download our guide to being a great birth partner -- From Dude to Dad -- it's a reference guide full of tips and lists to help you prepare for the birth, to be a great birth partner, and to have an enjoyable start to parenthood together. This book provides the ultimate check list of things to do, say and know to have a happy birth.

It's unavoidable. At some point you are going to get in trouble. It probably won't be your fault but a pregnant woman is a bit like the San Andreas fault that runs through California -- a disaster is just around the corner! If you follow the advice above you'll give yourself the best chance of avoiding a self inflicted gun wound and at keeping her as happy with you as possible.

Dads Speak


About the authors: Troy Jones: Troy's company produced the Being Dad series and he has traveled the globe interviewing hundreds of new dads and experts. As a result we like to think of him as a "well renowned global guru in all things Being Dad;" sounds impressive anyway. Troy has a beautiful daughter Matilda, who appears in the Being Dad series.

Sam Holt: Best known for coming up with a new idea every five minutes it's little wonder that Being Dad was, in fact, his idea. Fortunately, Being Dad was one of Sam's better ideas and with the help of Troy and Tom it has grown way beyond all of their expectations. Sam has a son, Hugo, who is too cute to be his.

Tom Hastwell: Lured out of the corporate world by Sam and Troy, Tom has been bitten by the business bug. Troy and Sam are eagerly awaiting news that Toms wife is pregnant so that they can attach a camera crew to him for nine months and actually put him to work. Tom is currently practicing for kids.

Copyrighted © SLM Global Pty Ltd 2009. Permission to publish granted to Pregnancy.org, LLC.


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