Is Your Daughter a Daydreamer - Undiagnosed AD/HD

by Kathleen G. Nadeau, Ph.D.

Is your Daughter a Daydreamer, Tomboy or "Chatty Kathy"? She may have undiagnosed Attention Deficit Disorder.

Most parents today have heard a great deal about Attention Deficit Disorder. When they hear that term, it's likely that a hyperactive little boy comes to mind. Boys with ADD, are easy to spot in the classroom, and are much more likely to be referred for an evaluation. Most questionnaires used to screen children for ADD emphasize items which describe these boys, items about hyperactivity, impulsivity and defiant behavior. Only those few girls who are like these boys with ADD are sent for assessment. The ratio of children referred to clinics for ADD evaluations continues to be about four or five boys for each girl.

What we are beginning to realize is that there are many girls left undiagnosed because their symptoms look different. One big difference is that girls are less rebellious, less defiant, generally less "difficult" than boys. Sadly, they lose out due to their good behavior. It's the squeaky wheel that gets oiled. When a boy is causing frequent discipline problems, either at home or in the classroom, he will quickly be referred for treatment. Parents and teachers alike want quick relief from their constant challenges. Girls are more compliant, and are not as easy to spot. Often they are left to drift along from one school year to the next, never working up to their potential. Girls with ADD are not all alike. As we mentioned earlier, there are a few girls whose behavior closely resembles the behavior of boys with ADD. But what about those who don't?

"Tomboys" with ADD

Hyperactive girls are often "tomboys." They are physically active, drawn to more risk-taking activities such as tree climbing, exploring and playing with their brothers or other boys in the neighborhood. They may like soccer, swimming or horseback riding, but are less attracted to more girlish activities. But unlike many boys with ADD, these girls are often more cooperative at home, and may work harder to please their teacher at school. Their handwriting may be messy, they are often disorganized, and they may rush out the door for their next activity leaving their room a huge mess. Rather than suspecting ADD, parents and teachers of these girls may see them as undisciplined and just not academically inclined.

"Daydreamers" with ADD

Girls of the inattentive variety are often shy daydreamers. Their inattention in class may be overlooked because they try hard not to draw attention to themselves. Many quiet girls with ADD seem to be listening to their teachers, while their minds are a thousand miles away. These girls often seem anxious about school. They are forgetful and disorganized in completing their school work and become very worried as assignments come due. When sent to their room to complete homework they may quietly daydream at their desk unless they are kept on track by a parent sitting beside them. They may seem easily overwhelmed and operate at a slower pace than other girls. Some of these girls are anxious or depressed, and are often mistakenly seen as less bright than they actually are.

"Chatty Kathy" with ADD

A third type of girl with ADD is a combination of hyperactive and inattentive. While they have a much higher activity level than the daydreamers, they are not necessarily "tomboys." Often these girls are hyper-talkative rather than hyperactive. They are "silly", excitable and overemotional. They chatter constantly in class and have trouble staying quiet even when they are disciplined for talking. They interrupt others frequently and jump from topic to topic in conversation. These girls may have trouble explaining a story line or movie plot - frequently interrupting themselves to say "wait a minute, I forgot to tell you..." Or they tell the story in a very confused manner because they have trouble organizing their thoughts before they start talking. These girls may be social leaders. They are active, talkative and are exciting to be around. Their friendships may be more dramatic, filled with overreactions and arguments.. These girls may adopt a "silly" personality to mask their disorganization and forgetfulness. During their teen years these girls may compensate for poor academics by becoming hyper-social and taking risks such as smoking, drinking and becoming sexually active at an early age.