As I walked back through the house I once again felt really stressed by how messy everything was, muttering to myself, "Just watch me go into labor tonight, messy house, puking kids, I could really do with a shower, I'm not wearing anything cute blah blah blah..."
The roller coaster ride really did mirror infertility treatment for me and many others. I would do something that terrified me, that wreaked havoc on my body and my mind for my child. I would take what I perceived as a personal risk for her. When I knew I couldn't handle the roller coaster anymore I chose another ride, hoping that different ride would work.
Homework can be a battle or a breeze. It can create conflict or cooperation. It can produce tension or focused attention. Which of these outcomes occurs in your home depends in great measure on how you talk to your children during that important time period. To help your child's homework experience be productive and stress free, consider the following ten best things to say to him or her during homework time.
Timeout is just one tool -- and it really isn't a "discipline" tool; it's an effective anger-management tool. Since the purpose of a timeout is to help someone regain control. If you want children to learn that it is their responsibility to control their behavior, use timeouts as cooling off periods which teach children how to achieve this self-control.
Wording limits in the positive meets many goals of parenting: It increases the child's self-esteem, increases the parent's confidence, decreases the need for discipline or punishment, improves communication skills, increases cooperation, and teaches children self-control and how to practice power in positive ways. Learn how.
Demanding behavior -- from the time a child is about two to four a parent can usually expect to experience it. Parents should not, however, excuse such behavior as only a passing stage. A parent's response to such bossiness may determine how long and how intense these battles last. How should you respond?
Most parents know the basic "5 B's" of bedtime routines: bath, brush teeth, bathroom, books, and bed. Our family, however, has invented many other fun (but not too physical) games that we've added to these basics. Because we frequently make bedtime fun, our children don't resist bedtime. Here are just a few games we've made up:
Discipline is different from punishment because it teaches children to learn from their mistakes rather than making them suffer for them. The four R's of consequences actually apply to all discipline techniques, not just natural and logical consequences. Whatever discipline technique you choose, make sure it meets the following four criteria...
Children consistently prove to us that ultimately their bodies are within their control. We can lead them to a potty but we really can't make them go. So the choice is yours. How much time, attention, effort, and emotion do you want to invest in this? your choice is whether to give encouragement or try to control the child.
What stepfamilies themselves, as well as the best family therapists, have known for years, is that the standard of blending is just plain wrong. It not only misrepresents the reality of life for all the players in a remarriage with children; the concept is also unrealistic and harmful to stepfamilies and individual stepfamily members.