I am a new memeber to this site and the ability to blog has got he hooked. I feel like I finally talk about what I feel and what I am going through and maybe someone will TRULY understand. I am 29 years old ane my husband and I have been trying for 5yrs now to get pregnant. I have had several pregnancy scares and I have come to the point where I am afraid to take pregnacy tests because of the the disappointment and frustration of negative results. I got pregnant 8 yrs ago and I had a miscarriage and I have yet to concieve again. We want a baby really bad and I think we have come to the point where we it is time to think about adoption. Call me crazy but I have not had a cycle for 2 months nows and just last week i experienced what has been described as possible implantation bleeding, however when I took the test about 3 weeks ago it was negative. I have a renewed hope when I was spotting last week but now I am afraid to take a test because I like hanging on to the hope that I am possibly pregnant. Each negative test, and trust me there has been plenty, feels like a someone has stolen my joy and each month that I experience a cycle feels like a miscarriage all over again. I know I need to take another test but I am afraid to take the test!