Amanda's Journey -- Week 24

Read All of Amandas Journey

Entry 22

3/31/03
CD 12 CY 6 (post m/c)

I got some good news today: My thyroid levels are okay! Not in the best spot for TTC, but they are within normal range. This means my OB doesn’t have any excuse for not helping me! Why am I so nervous about tomorrow? I am so anxious. I just want help. Is that so bad?

On a good note I forgot to mention that I have lost 11.5 pounds! Yippee!

4/1/03
CD 13 CY 6 (post m/c)

Okay, today is a day I would love to forget. Why did I have my hopes up? I hate doctors, I really do. Let me try to explain this. I was going into my OB today, hoping for the easy answer that has eluded us since Emilee was born. Well, the easy answer never came. I am wondering if it will ever come.

It is official. I have lost hope.

4/4/03
CD 16 CY 6 (post m/c)

As I sit here in pain from what I KNOW is ovulation pain, I am wondering what the months to come will bring.

I’m wondering why I put the emphasis on that I KNOW this is O pain? My doctor didn’t listen to a word I had to say on Tuesday. I went in there so prepared. I sat down and explained it all to him. I explained why I haven’t been charting (thyroid disorder causes temps to be all over the place). I gave details of my changed AF’s since the m/c, and the severe O pain. I even explained how I think I may have a short luteal phase.

So, what do you think his answer was? CHART! Chart over the next 6 weeks. He wants to make sure what I am feeling is O pain. HELLO! I already told the man that charting is useless with me! I can't think of the term right now but I know there is a blood test to run to see if you have ovulated yet or not. Why couldn’t he have suggested that? WHY? BECAUSE HE COULD CARE LESS!

So, I have my RE-appointment on April 29th. Right now I don’t even care if he says he can’t help me. I am at least going to get a good recommendation for another OB.

Can someone please tell WHOEVER is in charge of my body that I have had enough! A woman can only take so much at once!

4/5/03
CD 17 CY 6 (post m/c)

Okay, this week can end now. This week from Hell seems to be never-ending. We found out today that we have termites in the beams in our kitchen. Oh how wonderful! NOT!

The only bright thing I have to look forward to is my "Romance Party" I am attending tonight at my friend's house. It will be a good get away from all the stress of the week. Boy do I need a break!

About the author: Amanda is a 26-year-old SAHM to Emilee. She and her husband Jim have been married since Valentines Day, 1997. It took them almost 3 years to conceive their beautiful daughter Emilee. Since Emilee's birth, they've chosen not to use any birth control. They were afraid it would take forever to conceive again. Well, 2 years later (10 cycles actively TTC) they finally did it! Sadly, after a week of complete joy, they lost their angel baby. This journal is her journey of grief, hope, and love.