Do you have any idea what it is like to be given the first bit of hope you've had in months? Well, let me tell you it is an amazing feeling. I feel like after last week, this week, I am floating on air. Guess you want to know what this is all about, huh.
On 3/29/03 I had my re-appointment scheduled at a local office (about 10 minutes away) at 4 pm. While we were all outside planting the beautiful flowers we received for mother-in-law's passing the phone rang. Due to the doctor protests going on in this area that office was closed for the day. They asked if I could come in at 2 pm all the way down to Philly (Philadelphia). Jim wasn't too enthused about it, but said okay. As an aside, he later told me that he had wished I had rescheduled but glad we didn't.
So we finally get there (took an hour) and I had to fill out the paperwork. A ton of paperwork!! A nurse took me back and measured my weight (I have lost 15 pounds now!) and asked what I was there for. Then she took us to a consultation room. This was all we were really expecting. A young physician’s assistant came in and took my entire history. She seems very upbeat and positive and said that my doc was wonderful. Within a few minutes of her leaving, in comes the RE and he says he wants to examine me!
Wow, I totally wasn't expecting that. I think I am always expecting the worst due to past experiences with doctors. He did a post coital test to check my cervical mucus. I was on CD 14 and I hadn't gotten my O pains at all. They weren't due for another few days. He said, "By the looks of things that I was around O time." He doesn't want to give me an answer on the pains until we have some tests results back.
He is a wonderful, caring Doctor and one that is willing to listen to Jim and me. This is a first in my book! He came back in and sat down and started writing orders for tests. Next week I have to have blood drawn for TSH, Progesterone, and Prolactin to help see if I have O'd yet. Then once AF arrives, on CD 2 or 3 I go for more blood tests. Between CD 5 and 10 I go for an HSG! This is the same test that helped us get pg with Emilee. We are also set up for a semen analysis for Jim.
A huge part of me is so hopeful it will work just like it did with Emilee and we will be pregnant this coming month. The freaky part is, if we do get pregnant this coming month, I would be due right around mother-in-law's birthday. Still, there is still the hopeful but realistic side of me that knows and thinks this can take a bit longer. It may be a few months of trying to figure out what will work for us.
This "hope" stuff feels amazing. I couldn't remember the feeling anymore.