another baby

i took 4 tests and the all said the same thing another kid the two i have are enough for me i love kids but 3 at home 4 on the weekends thats too much for one person to handle i feel overwhelmed stressed compleatly not ready how do i tell my boys my family i dont like feeling like this blessing is really a curse but things are finally falling into place i have a savings and this isnt want i want to spend it on what about my five year plan what am i supposed to do now i dont have time for dr appts i need to work i wanna scream and cry and ............ i just dont know what to do how will we afford another kid i got rid of everything i have to start from scrach why dose my life have so many curve balls