So Mother's day has come and gone, although I appreciate my family and friends that wish me happy mother's day because I care for my pet rabbit, Juicy, I always feel sad at my current position in life. OUt of all my firends I am the only one who is not married or not a mother or not living with a romantic partner, and now dead single. I get very sadd and depressed when I think about the time limit I feel I am on, and the issues that I have to overcome to reach my dream. Bieng a mother is not a dream I am willing to give up. When my boyfriend of two years and some change dumped me I gave up the dream of marriage. We planned on getting married some day, we attended church together, prayed together, took vacations together and so forth. However being younger than me he was not ready for marriage or maybe he just didn't want to marry me.
Giving up mother hood before attempting is not an option for me, however, I am very single, never approached by men, and I guess hard to deal with judging from my last relationship. I just want a baby at the least in my lifetime. But the fear of the possiblity that I have to make quick moves to make one, more than any other young woman my age is stressful, and unbelievably scary. Yes...I could adopt as my therapist stated, but it's not the same as having the experience and the memories of being joined with another, the bond that is made between baby and mother during the pregnancy. I don't think that I have done anything bad enough in my life to be deprived of that. I try to keep faith, "God would not do that to you, he loves you" I tell myself often but sometimes it's hard to even finish the statement. I have been diagnosed to be prone to ovarian cysts for two years now maybe even three, I take YAZ BC everyday, and I am so afraid that when my ex-bfriend left he took my chances of motherhood with him. Oh I do have a friend (intimate friend) but we are not a couple and I don't even think he has normal human morals, or dreams such as wanting to be parent some day, LOL. Seriously, I don"t think he would see me as a good canidate to have his children, although he asked me recently. I don't believe him, and I don't want to think he could be that cruel to play a joke such as that. We haven't discussed the topic since.