by Lucinda Loveless
You may recall that Jessica Simpson was paid a whopping $850,000 by People magazine for the first pictures of her baby girl, Maxwell Drew.
Clearly, People magazine figured it to be a great investment, right? After all, they and the rest of the world followed what seemed to be the world's longest pregnancy with bated breath. Surely, exclusive pictures of the baby would be a hot commodity!
Apparently not! It seems People ended up selling a quarter fewer magazines than usual. Nothing against People magazine or that cutie pie baby but one word: Ouch.
In "oh no, not again" news, "perfect" mom and model, Gisele Bundchen, Pats QB Tom Brady’s wife, is expecting her second baby. Yay. Will we be treated to another round of, "I know everything, you know nothing and if you don't do it my way, you suck" again? Oh boy, I hope so!
How could we forget what she did last time to endear herself to her fellow moms? Let’s see, she called women who gained weight more than her, anyway "garbage disposals," claimed that her childbirth without any painkillers, "wasn’t painful, not even a little bit." If that statement is even true.
But the clincher was Gisele's infamous, sanctimonious rants about breastfeeding. Let us remind you of what she said.
"Some people here in the U.S. think they don't have to breastfeed, and I think 'Are you going to give chemical food to your child when they are so little?' I think there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months." Way to support fellow moms, Gisele!
In any case, we do wish her the best but hope that she will chill out this time!
In "Bachelorette" news, as promised, I did watch it for you. I tried to get paid combat pay for it – I'll let you know if I see that in my pay envelope this week. [Editor's note: As much as we'd love to help Lucinda out, TV watching doesn't really fall under combat pay...]
Little Miss Emily is still pretty much at the beginning of her quest for Mr. Right but she has managed to get rid of a few of the men.
This week was not too exciting except that it showed her "regular" life. You know, the life where she brings her child with her to the tropics, looks fabulous 24/7, has full-time help and every man on the show is already falling in love with her and is anxious to be a daddy to her daughter. That happens to me more often than I can count! And is it just me, or is there the most awkward kissing ever on that show?
Real Housewives of New York premiered last night! As of this writing, I have not seen it so I don't know what's in store but it promises to be ever so exciting with several new women joining the cast. It seems that lost-in-the-clouds Kelly is gone. Phew! Although she was fun to watch, no?
In "troubling medical" news, singer songwriter (and attachment parenting supporter) Alanis Morissette announced this week that she was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor. At the moment, there are no plans for surgery. Alanis was quoted as saying this is just a "bump in the road." Considering she has successfully fought breast cancer a few years back, she is one tough lady. We are glad to hear this is benign and send her our thoughts and prayers for a complete recovery!
In, "wow, that's amazing" news, stylist Rachel Zoe told People that her 14-month-old baby is super smart and active and curious. Rachel said, "He can say every animal sound. I quiz him: 'What sounds does the horse make? What sound does the cow make?'" Wow, imagine that. Fascinating! Our lives are enriched now!
That's all the time I have for now. Real Housewives of New York debuts in a bit and my stylist will be here any minute to be sure I look fabulous. Until next week! Muah!
Photo courtesy of SaintEddie.