Clomid!

Hi My name is Carla and I am fairly new to this website. Since getting married in October 2010 me and my husband Helder have been trying to conceive. We wanted to do it naturally but because it was never happening I made an appointment with my OB/GYN and in March 2011 I was told I was to do a number of tests that included blood work and a sono-hysterogram. Good news! My fallopian tubes are not blocked but there is some bad news. I have PCOS. Basically I don't regularly ovaulate making it hard to me to get pregnant. After doing all my tests, my OB/GYN got me onto Clomid and I patiently waited and waited for my period and nothing! I was freaking out, becoming depressed, starting putting my parents and husband down....and I even had some suicidal feelings. I never mentioned them to my dad or my husband but since he is in the same room as me right now...he now knows. I told my mom that if I couldn't have kids that I would commit suicide on way or another. I look back now and realize that that must of been hard for my mom to hear but all these emotions were going through my head. I starting read about PCOS and there were some cases of women who were just like me, wanting to have kids but with PCOS and NOT being able to be a parent. I still to this day get depressed and moody and basically cry my eyes out but only when no one is looking. I hate looking like I am a weakling. I got my period (finally!) this month (July 2011) and finally I started Clomid. I had to take it on CD3-7 and right now I am on CD11 and I am anxious....I just want to get a pregnancy test and test myself but I know it is WAY too early. I feel like August 13th (the day I will test IF i don't get my period) will never get here. I just want to know and go through all the changes women go through when they get pregnant. I want to be able to jump for joy knowing that I will finally be a mommy. I know I am one step closer but somedays it feels like it is sooo far away....I pray to God each night that finally I will be a mommy. I am not an emotional person. I hate showing my emotions but this makes me teary-eyed and depressed.

All I want is a baby....