Difficult situation

Shy girl's picture

So I will throw out the question to everyone in cyberspace: Am I being overly selfish when I say that I dont want ANYONE at the hospital before, during or after delivery except the baby's father?

Okay, so here is the situation. My fiance and I live with his mother. He is half-owner of the house, so technically she lives with us. She is a needy, controlling, old witch who has convinced the fiance that she cannot live alone, as if she is some sort of invalid. Like I said- needy and controlling. So after me and the boy dated for a year, I moved in with him- no big deal, right? Sure- if it was just me and him. For the first few weeks all was well in the world of evil mother in law. Why? Because we stayed out of each other's way. But then we moved into the new house. And I had to set some rules. First of all- no boxes of glass figures in the baby's room. Not too demanding, right? In fact, I told her not to put anything except baby stuff in the nursury. She attatcked me. Literally started slapping me. Now, first of all you need to know that I have been competeing in ametur boxing since I was twelve. I was THIS close to knocking the old witch on her ass... but I did not. I 'restrained' her untill she calmed down... I threw her on the ground and pinned her. Acutally, I am kindof proud that I did not hit her- she is like seventy years old, it would have prolly killed her. Next, anytime anyone asks her to do anyting- from throwing her coke can in the trash to cleaning her dish it turns into a war of the wills where she acts like she has something to prove by insisting on living in squallor. She pouts and pusses about everything, she manipulates the fiance and bullies him to no end and wont talk to me because she cannot bully me (I have not problem telling her to get off of her lazy ass and get it herself- the doctor told her that she does NOT have a mobility disability, that she is basically just lazy- besides he also said that if she does not start moving around, she WILL develop a disability- which is what I think she wants) I dont want her near me in the hospital. She will whine and pout and make MY delivery all about HER, as well as manage to manipulate the fiance to go and do her bidding and be away from me as often as possible (again- she seems to feel like she has to prove something) not only that, but she seems to have a bit of an anger management issue (we think she is developing early alzheimers) and I dont really want to deal with her yeling at me or possibly trying to hit me again while I am in delivery OR when I am newly bonding with the new baby.

As of my family, they are two thousand miles away and dont care about this baby- no chance of them trying to come to the hospital (they dont believe in having sex before marraige, so they have basically ousted me and the baby) The fiance also has some extended family here who would be more than understanding if he told them (when the baby was born) "Baby XXXXXXXX is here, it was a tuff delivery and we really need mom and baby to rest, visitors will be welcome after we get home" ...

But his mother? The woman makes me very, very angry.

What I forsee going into labor, telling her to stay home, her yeling and pissing and moaning, then following us to the hospital anyway, and then coming into the hospital and yeling and moaning untill security has to escort her out. I dont need to deal with that when I go into labor...

So the question is really- How would you tell her to stay the hell home on D-day, and do you think that I am being unreasonable?