Two weeks past the event. I have accepted the reality of the miscarriage but I didn't think I'd still be dealing with the physical aspect of it. How can I go on to the next part of my grief and loss while I'm still suffering the bleeding and other side effects of it all.
Today I went to the gym for the first time in two weeks and I gave myself a good work-over, There was no worry about how hard I pushed those weights because I know my body needs to be pushed now. i need to feel like I can control how much,I can control how long, and I can control when and where. That's basically what I'm feeling now, my body is out of control and I feel completely betrayed by it.
I can't even trust it to do the typical miscarriage, I have endure prolonged bleeding cramping and hormone plunges. The whole feeling that the universe sucking right now is still pretty high on my outlook.
I'm stuck. I'm the record that keeps skipping over the same line, over and over again. What could I possibly learn from this feeling of purgatory?