Here we go again!

Well, this here is my first ever blog, so please bare with me as pour my heart and soul out :)

I am in my late twenties, dawning on 30 now! I am the mother to two beautiful little ladies and another on the way! My husband and I have been together for 10 years now, married for nearly five and he is desprete for his boy! So far the netball team is all he has received!

My eldest daughter is seven turning eight this year and is the best little girl ever! She is well behaved, well mannered, does great at school, you really couldn't ask for a better daughter! I had her when I was only 21, dad was 19, so we were very young and fumbled our way through, but clearly we did something right! We were adamit though that she would be our only child and there was not a doubt in either of our minds that we would concider another!

Five years later we find out that we are pregnant again! Obviously this was not planned! I have never really understood prenatal depression ... until then. This was a real shock for both of us and put a huge strain on our relationship! I was 26 and about to be the mother of two, we were living with a friend, no house, no security, NO ROOM!! And then 2 months before bubs was born I had to give up work so then there was no money either! STRESSED OUT!!! I often had days where I thought I should just throw myself down the stairs and be done with it! This is a feeling I never want to experience again! My hubby was forced to work interstate, I believe he opted to go to get away from my sooking sessions! I would spend hours or days in bed crying, making it very hard for him and our eldest dauhgter! But when he came home for a couple of months he made such a difference! Helping out, making me think more positive, I didn't want to go to work, catch up with friends, basically stayed at home 24/7, but he dragged me out and livened me up again, then when when our second little girl arrived he was an angel! Helping me in everyway! And seeing her for the first time made all the bad and dark thoughts disappear! I was so lucky that I was able to overcome this! I couldnt imagine having to deal with those feelings and raise two childrem! Especially in a home we shared with two other men! Great Times!!

But ... here we are again! Baby number three on the way, we are nuts! I know! So now my eldest is nearly eight, second daughter just turned two and number three is three months away! Now do you agree we are nuts?? This time round she was planned! We are in our new home, stable lifestyle, we have the room to fit another bed! Hubby and I decided to try for the boy, but unfortunately we have another little lady on the way! I'm so excited though! I love this feeling, the preperations, the plans, reading all the baby magazines and ooing and ahhing over the lastest fads! What cot to get? Which pram? Disposable or washable nappies? I am so glad that this time I am able to enjoy the feeling of my bubs little kicks and wiggles, especially when number two and I are dancing through the house!

So this is me so far! With number three on the way, I have had some seriously bad and scary times! I have had many trips to the emergency room, am I just getting old?? Am I too sooky?? Who knows! I've had two children already, shouldn't it be getting easier, not harder? I have been suffering bleeding throughout the entire pregnancy so far, cramping, sleepless nights, back pain shooting through my legs, hypertension, low blood pressure and varicous veins all over my lower right leg! When does it stop???? No one can tell me why this is harder, just the same response, every pregnancy is different! Well I don't want to be different! I have had to give up work and walking! Im restricted in everything I do, I'm going to be nuts before bubs arrives! But the pains will go away and the baby will arrive and there will be no memory of the bad times!

I'll be sure to keep in touch xx