Hopeless

Today I feel hopeless. I can't help but to say poor me. What's wrong with me? WHy can't I have a beautiful baby as easy as everyone else? Yesterday someone dropped by to show me her 3 month old little girl. How could god do that to me when he knows that I'm struggling? It was like a slap in the face. THe worst part is that I'm a day late with no BFP. And my temp are dropping so I know AF is coming today. I don't think I'm going to make it through today. I have to work today and it's going to be super busy. That's probably good. Less time to think about it. Next week I have to go to conference and share a room with my friend and her baby girl (6 months). I hope I'm ok with that.I have SIX friends that are preggo. WHY NOT ME???? I feel like god is spitting in my face. Saying that I don't deserve to be a mother again. I guess I should be thankful that I was blessed with my baby boy. ugh. I feel so hopeless.