I never knew...

Rachel84Baby09's picture

I never knew how difficult pregnancy would actually be. I was just always so excited for the miracle of birth and becoming a mom, that I never put much thought to what a strain it would be on me and my body. The thing is, I always hear women talk about their pregnancies so fondly, as if it was a walk in the park and really one of the best times of their life. Now, don't get me wrong, I am incredibly excited for my little bundle of joy, but their are a lot of unexpected difficulties. I don't have a generally sensitive stomach so never paid much attention to morning sickness. I ended up getting the stomach flu in my first month of pregnancy and have been naseous ever since. I apparently have a UTI and have to take Microbid for 10 days in addition to all the other pills they have me taking. I know I absolutely sound like a whiner right now and everyting that's being done is for me and my child's benefit, but I just never expected any of this. I expected to get a cute baby bump, walk around in my adorable maternity shirts and then my baby would be born. I have heartburn that is a result of foods I would never imagine would cause it. I worry every day about the safety and health of my child. I have a water bottle with me at all times that has become my lips' close, personal friend. I cried for 45 minutes the other night because I had nothing to wear. My back hurts, my UTI has me worrying about a kidney infection, my UTI has me worrying about pre-term labor. It's just exhausting to have these thoughts running through my head all day. I didn't sign up for my midsection to be a poorly treated hotel and my brain to be the treadmill for all the running thoughts. I want someone to tell me it's ok, and that all pregnant women get to be pretty miserable. I feel like a bad mother already for not appreciating what my body is capable of creating and harboring. I love it that I am pregnant, I just don't love being pregnant.