it has been 4 years

it has been 4 years...and i have totally forgotten abt this website until a reminder was given to me ..hehe...

anyways...my "baby" is now a preschooler in a daily 3 hours nursery ( week days) ...

so many people ( friends ,relatives) has been asking me when will i be having a second child?....whenever the question is being raised...i just smiled and say nothing

iam worried to be pregnant again as my first child was born with dextrocardia...ear microtia... partial hearing impaired on the left ear.... iam afraid that i may have to go through the same thing if i were to give birth again...plus iam worried that i couldnt give my fullest attention to my son ( he is currently undergoing a speech therapy under rehabilitation and AVT ( FOR HEARING IMPAIRED) )....

my son was in and out of the hospital for the first two years of his life and it was a trying period for both of us ( financially and physically) as we do not have any government social support that could help us....

at times whenever i have an emotional breakdown ....no social service /therapist to talked to as no such services for caregiver with special needs kids...

if i was given a chance...i would like to have another baby perhaps a little girl..:).....but im just too afraid to have a go at it.... i ever told myself once my boy is "ok" ...i would like to get pregnant again ....but it seems so far away...as the therapist told me that my son needed to be in the therapy for couple of years...

nevertheless i do really hope that there will be a rainbow after the rain..:)