Wow...where to begin...I guess I'm really posting this because there's so much on my mind and so much inside of me and I feel like I have to put it all SOMEWHERE! I talk to my husband and to my friends but let's face it - none of them are pregnant!
Right now I'm about ten weeks and five days pregnant. I was pregnant once before and I miscarried at about nine weeks. I thought that once I got past that hump, I would feel great about everything! I just KNEW that once I saw the heartbeat, everything would be a breeze. Ha! The good news is, there is a heartbeat. I am so wonderfully overjoyed and feel so blessed! So why don't I feel BETTER?
This pregnancy I have suffered from morning sickness since about the 6th week. When I say morning sickness, what I mean is all day nausea with just about every day vomiting. I am so completely OVER IT! Then I feel completely ridiculous because I get sick, and then I cry about it. Really?! Crying?! Because of throwing up?! That's insane! I miss food. I miss eating. I miss being able to stay awake past 10pm. I miss going to bed at night and sleeping through the night, not getting up in the middle of the night to pee....and grab a snack.
The reality of it is that I am incredibly blessed. I know that. But I am so overwhelmed with concerns, with fears. I am an emotional train wreck. Every one keeps saying "don't worry, it gets better". But does it? I know I'm not the first woman to have gone through this. So why do I feel so alone?