Lonely.

Me and my boyfriend are in this together but sometimes I really feel like im going about this all by myself and I wish I had someone to talk to...

Don't get me wrong Earl is just as excited as I am i mean the other day he wanted me to take a pregnancy test and i did, and after i peed on it he took it and ran away with it and sat there like it was a christmas present he was anticipating to unwrap. the look on his face when it was negative was more depressing than the negative test its self. but we JUST started trying. It has only been 3 weeks since my mirena was removed so I knew there no way there would be a positive test already but still. And we do talk about it but i dont know. my ex didnt care at all about my pregnancy with my daughter. he only cared about himself. when the baby started to kick my ex REFUSED to feel. he said it was disgusting and creepy that there was a moving baby in my belly. and when Earl said he would like to feel his baby kick inside me I almost cried. other things were Hector (my ex) never went baby shopping with me. at all. ever. I got sent off to do my registry by myself...which was a complete waste of time anyway because not a single soul bought me anything off my registry.

on a side note. I never mentioned this in my last few blogs. Me and my boyfriend (Earl) dont have any family where we live. He is in the army and they transferred him to where we are now. 3,000 miles away from my family, my friends, and my daughter (my ex has custody of my 3 year old daughter). His family is sorta all over mom is about 7 hours away from us (thats the closest family member, still a long as drive) and his dad is in afghanistan. and my only friend is still a young girl so I dont really have anyone to share my excitement with. hoping writing this someone can relate to me.