Marie Chronicles -- Entry Four

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This past week has been amazing! It's starting to sink in that I am having twins. I'm really excited about it all. I feel so special that I get to have two babies at once. I've been doing lots of research about twins. I am not sure whether mine are fraternal or identical. I've heard many different things.

I went in for a second ultrasound last Wednesday and the tech doing the ultrasound said that we wouldn't know if the twins are fraternal or identical until after birth -- unless they are two different sexes.

I've been busy all week telling everyone that I am having twins. It's so hard to believe. But at the same time, I have always known that one day I would have twins. It's weird how you just know things.

I've been feeling okay. My cold is finally starting to let up. I am only congested in the morning when I first wake up. Last week I was having morning sickness all day long. I think my body is getting used to the progesterone supplements, because this week my morning sickness has only been in the morning.

I've noticed that I am really moody. I get really upset over the littlest things. And the big things send my emotions flying. I'm trying to control it, and I have been taking deep breaths and counting to 10 a lot lately.

I've started getting bigger, too. I actually had two people ask me when I was due, last Sunday at church. Imagine their surprise when I told them I was only about 2 months along and due at the end of July! As soon as I clarified that it was twins, they said that's why I was "blossoming" so early. Blossoming -- that's a nice word for it. I was calling it getting HUGE (laughs)!

My main problem is being paranoid. It seems every time I turn around, someone is talking about how they lost a twin or both twins. I have a real problem talking to people about things like this and it makes me apprehensive. Maybe that's selfish, but its how I feel. I will be so happy when I get to the second trimester and things are "safer." I will be so happy when I get another ultrasound too -- maybe then my nerves will calm down a bit.

I've never had the unfortunate experience of a miscarriage, but it still scares me. I want both of these babies to be healthy and safe. It seems like every time I go to the bathroom and there is no blood or anything on the toilet paper I feel like I have won another battle.

I have this intense urge to go buy some baby things. I want to buy some matching clothes so bad I can taste it (Laughs). I keep going over everything we still need to get. I asked Dave if he thought we should go shopping for the babies on payday and he looked at me like I was crazy. He said we needed to wait until we know what their sexes are. My response was that I could get neutral things.

I've got the "baby-shopping itch." I know I should wait, but I really want to buy at least something, even if it is just two little small things, like matching onesies. My rationalization is that I might get put on bedrest early, so I need to be done with everything early!

All in all it's been a very good week, and the news is finally sinking in -- and the shock is wearing off. I love to proudly announce to perfect strangers that I am having twins!

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