Nic's Nerves - Feeling better and worse at the same time.

Well yesterday I had my first Prenatal appointment so that was pretty exciting! My Doc. put me down as being 9 weeks pregnant which was 1/2 a week more than I was thinking. She asked me to come back in a couple of weeks so that she could listen for the heart beat. Her comment was "If we can hear the heart beat, then you'll be fine." I really like her, not only is she a great obstratition/GP but she is a mother of two young kids and has experienced 2 miscarriages. She talks from experience.

Interestingly enough, while we were talking about food, she said that it is ok to eat sushi! She said that she had been at a seminar with the top women's health doc's in BC and they had all said that the sushi thing is a myth. She said you can pretty much eat what ever you want, but don't eat tuna more than once a month and don't eat un pasturised cheese. Interesting, one thing I find really frustrating is that there is so much conflicting information out there it's difficult to know what to believe.

She also said that at 9 weeks, I should be at the worst point in my morning sickness right now. Apparently "Right now" wasn't exactly "right then" because I smelled the stinky cupboard this morning and threw up properly for the first time. I'm so weird... The "stinky cupboard" isn't even very stinky, it's the cupboard that we keep all our vitamins and cereal in but it certainlty sets me off!

I've been feeling a bit calmer over the last couple of days about my fear of miscarriage. I don't know why, perhaps writing this blog is helping. I still feel like getting past 8 weeks and 10 weeks are major milestones. I don't know where I got those milestones from, other than hearing about other people who had miscarried at them. My husband says that I bring a lot of this stress upon myself...and he's right, but I can't help myself. The problem is that as I find my self starting to feel more confident in my pregnancy, I worry about becoming too attached and making the pain of miscarriage worse if it happens. I watched a TV documentary recently about the harmful toxins in the plastics we use. It said that a lot of people miscarry around the time the sex organs develop (I think this is around 9 weeks) because the toxins are harmful to boys. The documentary also said that once the toxins are in your body they stay there. I've cut back on the plastics in our house hold, but I suspect it is kind of like shutting the barn door after the horse has bolted. So, here's to just keeping my fingers crossed.

From the information my Doc. gave me, it looks like we won't be tested for down's until 17 weeks. There is an option of doing a private test for $500 and finding out sooner. My inital reaction was that I wasn't going to spend that kind of money doing tests that will be done for free later on...but now I've thought about it for 24hrs I'm thinking that $500 isn't very much money in exchange for peace of mind.

Honestly, I know I sound like a real worrier - I'm not usually this crazy!

A friend of mine runs a yoga / spiritual centre for women struggling with fertility challenges. I have been going there for some time and took the amazing "Mind Body" course over the summer. It really changed the way I viewed my fertility journey and I think was one of the biggest helps I had. She gave an interview to the Globe and Mail about Yoga for Fertility and unfortunately she was quite badly misquoted. I felt for her, while I agree that Yoga for Fertility may not directly impact your chances of pregnancy in a "I did Fertilty Yoga 10 times this month so I must therefore be really fertile" way. It helps people make sense of the journey they are on, it teaches deep relaxation and meditation techniques. These stress relievers are big barriers to fertility so removing them definitely helps increase fertility.

Any ways, better get on with the day.