So...my husband loves me, I know this. But besides saying he was surprised, happy, and proud of me and about me being pregnant, he's not really involved. He's super busy right now, it's true (but also kinda his fault) but it's hard to take. He is going through 14 hr work days of recruiters course for the marine corps and taking two college classes, I hardly get to see him or spend time with him! And it almost seems like he WANTS it that way /: because I keep telling him that I miss him and never see him and to please only take one class in the time coming up but he keeps saying, "Okay, then I'll just take secret classes" I feel like he joking but also serious and it makes me sad. I like to joke but not when I don't already have a good joking base-line with the person I'm joking with. I get all nasueas and such and instead of running off to get ginger ale when I so badly need it, he's too tired and not around and if he is I have to BEG him. I HATE that. I've started thinking that I chose the wrong partner for having a baby with ): that Moses won't be there for me when I need him, that I shouldn't rely on him, only on myself to do everything. It really makes me sad tho ): I bought him an "Expectant Fathers" book so he's more involved but I don't know if he'll really read much of it.
Im also upset at my family. They dont seem to understand what I'm going through. I know certain things about pregnancy-like morning sickness doesn't just happen in the morning, and pregnancy tests are REALLY accurate-but no one wants to believe it's true. I wish more people were involved ): At least I can garner support from some of my pals on facebook, but it's not exactly the same.
Oh well. I feel a lot like I'm going to be a single mom or that I'll be like my mom-saddled with everything because my dad didn't want to do anything when he got home and not get the respect she deserved. I also feel like my husband thinks ALOT less of my because I don't have a job even though he told me that he was fine with me not having one. I'm kinda trying to paint-tho I havent in like a week-and sell them online but now I feel restless and like I can't focus on anything except having the baby and making it through pregnancy even tho I'm only in the 5th week. /: ALSO! I hope I don't have my baby on my birthday! ): lol, i don't wanna share a bday! I'm hoping for an August bday (: