part 3

So,today i woke up feeling more centered than I have in a really long time. I realized literally "overnight' A is the best a he knows how to be and it is not enough for me. I truley am going to be o.k. I am going to go to church today, I am trying to take all this pain and agoney I have expierienced over the last couple monthes and find some positive I think it is a good time to strenghten my spiritual self. I still miss A very much, but I need to figure out why , he never even gave me anything??? I also decided I am going to take my children on the little trip I had planned for A and myself, I think we will have fun. I have to find some fun... last night my best friend M showed at 930 begging me to come out for one drink... well water with lemon for me! at a restaurant we love and I could not peel my ass off the couch for nothing... so unlike me, I am the social Queen... I geuss things change, at least for now......