About a year ago I found out I was pregnant for the very first time. That morning I had told my husband that I thought I was pregnant and he just waved it off, not really believing me. To his defense I had thought this or that must be pregnancy for a little while before that. I had been so worried about getting pregnant before my wedding. However my wedding had just passed and i just knew that I was pregnant this time.
So, I went to the store, picked up a pregnancy test, used it, waited for the result and handed it to my husband. It made me so happy to see the look of joy on his face knowing that he was going to be a daddy. It was a magical experience.
About 3 days later I had a miscarriage. It was a horrible experience that many of you have experienced... but i couldn't experience it just then. Even though it was going on in my body it was my husband who was distraught. I held onto being numb for as long as I could so I could take care of him and try to get him out of his funk. It ended up that I felt like I was by myself because after I had finally gotten him to be ok again he just never wanted it brought up. I just didn't have the strength to push the issue.
However month after month I kept getting different "symptoms" of the pregnancy I lost. I kept feeling sick, or dizzy or anything like that. for eight months after that I felt the "symptoms" after 4 or 5 months of it I started calling them my "phantom Pregnancy" I was the only one who knew and I had just been hoping that they would go away at the same point that the baby would have come.
It ended up that they did end almost to the day of when I would have had him or her. At that point I finally told my husband. I told him how it had been going on for so long and why I couldn't talk to him about it. I fell apart but by that point he was there to put together the peices that were left of me.
Now the reason I joined here....
It's 3 months since then. I feel like I am getting symptoms again. but they aren't just the ones that could be just in my head. Always during my period I get acne, and I have that in spades... and i am not near my period. I have almost clear skin other then those times. Then there is the fact that i cannot hold food in my stomach. I usually have iron control... but i don't seem to now.
There are other symptoms too.. I just worry that I am making a mountain out of a mole hill. I haven't missed a period yet and I am terrified of getting one at this point.
I don't know what to do or think right now, I guess I just wanted to let this all out.