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I got the chance to speak with one of the agencies we're considering for adoption next spring, and they said we could pretty much get started anytime after the baby arrives.
I was really thrilled to hear this, because I'd rather be on our schedule than theirs. We are still looking at getting our home study updated and submitted around April, because ideally I would like the two right around a year apart. I think that'll give Baby Boy a nice amount of time to be the "baby" and yet be close enough for us to be comfortable with the age gap.
I am going to request all the paperwork in January, right after the holidays. I figure this is the best time to get started -- after the craziness of the holidays (Baby Boy's first Christmas -- woo hoo!), but before the craziness of Tim's separating from the Air Force and our moving etc.
Also, the baby will be 3 months old which means I'll be settled into a routine with him and won't be (hopefully) as frazzled as those first few postpartum weeks. I am giving myself a lot of time to get everything ready, maybe 3-4 months so that I can work at my own pace and not feel rushed or overwhelmed.
When we're ready for our update, we'll submit our paperwork, then get on the waiting list once they review everything! They said if we got everything in by the time he was 6 months old, we should be matched with a baby by the time he turned a year or maybe a little after. I think that will be a good time frame.
We are prepared to wait a little while since we are going to be gender specific. I thought it could take a year or so, but the lady said that because of our openness to race it would be fairly quick -- 6-9 months or so.
We aren't telling anyone (except our friends) about our future plans because honestly, I am not very happy with Tim's family right now. They were really excited for us when we first got pregnant but now that they know it's a boy, they are not really showing very much enthusiasm. They don't ask about the baby, and they actually didn't respond once when we sent them some ultrasound pictures (this was a little while ago.
His mom DID respond to the latest email I sent with Baby Boy's pictures). I don't want them to get more excited about the adoption (since we'll be getting a little girl) than about Baby Boy. So we're just going to let them bond to him when he gets here (and I'm sure they will) and then tell them when we're close to submitting paperwork. That way they are fully attached to Baby Boy before they start getting excited about Baby Girl.
It's funny, but most families it's the opposite -- the grandparents need more time to get used to the idea of adoption! Oh well, I know it was a big shock for everyone when Addie's adoption fell through, and they just need some time to heal and get over it. It makes me a little mad but I am trying to be understanding. However, if they are still all lukewarm about it once Baby Boy comes, they are going to be on my list big time.
