swing and a miss

I found out that I was pregnant almost 9 weeks ago.

An unexpected baby, but the father was a close friend and we decided we could give a baby a happy healthy family.

We started discussing names, looked at houses in great areas, even started talking about private or public schools.

I spent all day everyday, starting at week four, puking. Even gave baby an "in the tummy" name so it wasn't "it".

7 weeks in I miscarried.

Now all I do is cry for my baby.

I've heard women that miscarry often want to get pregnant again immediately after. I don't want that. I don't want another baby.

I just want my baby back. Not a new baby, THAT baby.

I don't even get the sadness necessarily. It was only 7 weeks old and had only known about it for three or four... but all i do is cry.