The birth control I will NEVER use again or recommend to my friends

I am a mother of two wonderful little boys. After having my first son, I opted to begin taking Depo Provera shots to prevent another pregnancy before I was ready for another child. This seemed like a good option because it would allow me to nurse my baby, and I would not have to remember to take a pill every day at the exact same time. When my husband and I began considering having another child, I had friends, one of which is a physicians assistant, warn me that it can take a long time after stopping the shot to get pregnant, so we stopped birth control well before I actually wanted to conceive again in anticipation of it taking a while. We got pregnant with our second son less than two months after we discontinued the shot (less than five months from my last injection). I was elated. However, the challenges of having two little boys under the age of three was a harrowing experience. Now they are the best of friends....most of the time. I went back on Depo Provera after my second son since it had been such a successful experience while breast feeding my first. I stayed on it until my second son was 3 1/2. My husband and I thought long and hard about whether to have another child. We agonized over it. Then we decided that the reason that it was such a difficult decision was that we were trying to convince ourselves with our heads that we didn't need another child, while our hearts really yearned for just one more. So, in late June of 2011, I did not go get my Depo shot, and we waited anxiously to see what would happen. I was the type of woman that still continued to have occasion light periods while on the shot. Weeks went by after I discontinued the shot this time with nothing happening. I took pregnancy test after pregnancy test. Obsessively. I was a sickness that consumed my mind. Why was nothing happening? How long would it take? Was I pregnant and the tests were wrong? It was the first time that I felt like my body wasn't working and doing what I thought it should. By November, I was still not having a cycle. I know that all the research on Depo says that it can take up to 18 months for regular cycles, but this just wasn't like MY body. I went for my yearly exam, and discussed this with my doctor. She agreed that she knew it COULD take that long, but had never actually known someone that it DID take that long. She prescribed me some birth control pills to take in hopes of kick starting my body back to normal. I hated the idea. Now I would have to wait LONGER! I took a week's worth of pills then stopped. I had a horribly heavy period. I rejoiced and thought that I would go back to normal. A month passed. I missed my period. I took pregnancy test after pregnancy test. All negative. The sickness crept back in. I got obsessed again. The holidays came and went. March was approaching. I decided to start another pack of pills. My second son was born in December, and I didn't want another baby that had to compete with Christmas for his birthday. I continued in this manner through March until 3/4 through April and finished the last pack of pills given to me by my doctor. I was having periods again. I half expected for them to suddenly stop again as soon as I stopped the pills. I just wasn't hopeful enough to think that my body could return to normal ever again at this point. I refused to chart my daily temps (I had done that before, and it was so frustrating because my period would never come). One week before my period that I expect not to come because of my freak of a body, I felt weird. I had a couple of days of spotting. I thought, "Great, now the dumb thing will come every 3 weeks instead of every four. That will be super fun!" But it stopped. On a whim, 6 days before my period SHOULD have come, if I was a normal woman again, I took a cheap WalMart .88 pregnancy test. And there was a faint line! Shocker. I couldn't dare say a word to anyone. Before going home that afternoon, I stopped and got a pack of two more expensive digital First Response tests. I took the test late in the evening with my sons yelling for me outside the bathroom door. I expect the ever so wonderful spirit crushing "NO-" that those digital test display to squash out any lingering hope that you may have. But, instead there flashed "YES+". And I freaked out! I wasn't actually trying to get pregnant right now. I was happily planning a mid winter trip to Florida for my family. Now I would be nine months pregnant during the expected trip. My husband calmly reminded me that this is what I wanted, and that trips can be rescheduled. We can't rely on our timing and planning anyway. The point of this whole saga... I would not recommend Depo to anyone that would like to have control over the timing of her pregnancy. Both times I got pregnant after using it, it was nearly impossible to have any control whatsoever over the timing of my pregnancy, and I did not get pregnant when I intended to. There are short term benefits, such as being able to nurse while on it. But my recommendation would be to switch to another birth control method as soon as you wean your baby so that your body might return to a more normal pattern.