Well, here goes nothing! I've always had "too many" thoughts for my own good when it comes to my health, fertility, and everything else that comes along with that. So this is my "starter blog", the Alpha, and probably the most vulnerable thing I'll do when it comes to writing this blog. My problem isn't with the blog, its just getting it "out there" and the first try is always the hardest, and its almost unrealistic to think I'm going to hit the save button down there below. So here goes nothing... or a lot of rambling, at least.
To give a bit of backround, I'm Jenn, a 22-year-old, white, single (well, 'seriously dating' is more appropriate at the moment), Southern Baptist female in the Army, and I have been dealing with infertility for just over eight years. That usually stops people in their tracks, because, really, how can a 14-year-old have fertility problems? Unfortunately for me, that's when I got my first ruptured ovarian cyst, and its been quite a ride since then. The only formal diagnosis I've ever been given (in regards to my infertility issues) is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Recently, I was told I have "a lot of anovulatory cycles", and now there is speculation that maybe my eggs may be the problem to begin with, resulting in my three miscarriages over the course of two years.
Even in my short span dealing with PCOS, it has taken its toll on not only my health, but also my interpersonal relationships. I've met a lot of great people who are blessed on a daily basis by their children and have been a HUGE part of my life, and I've met notsogreat people who think that infertility is a disease they can catch, or worse yet, are in their own state of denial that it just "wasn't your baby's time". Sometimes its those people I take my frustration out on. I was engaged right out of high school, and that fell through when he decided he wanted a family soon and didn't want to fight my fight with me. My next serious relationship went down the drain when that one just decided the same thing. Yeah, it was NOT fun to go through that heartache, and a lot of blame went through my mind, but you know that saying, "You don't know what you've got til its gone" ? Its true.
I have been blessed to have finally found someone that wants to fight with me, whose heart is becoming more and more open to the fact that adoption to grow a little family is a wonderful way to bring children into our world. For my blog, he will be known simply as "K". K and I have talked about the family we want to have someday, and the more and more we talk, the more and more I bring up adoption, and the more and more K is okay with it. I'm a big believer in prayer, and I know that when "our time" comes, be it adoption or the pregnancy of a lifetime, it'll all be in God's time, not mine or his.
As of today, I am on no meds. I have grown to despise the doctor's office in the last eight years. And I'm content for right now.
Ready... set... save!